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J.R.'s avatar

What a wonderfully-written, honest, and thoughtful essay! One of the best on this subject I’ve read, ever. Although my journey to a better and consequential understanding of the subject of white male privilege is somewhat different, your essay resonated with me and my white, upper-middle-class upbringing; you laid a structure from which we can begin the internal and, later, external discussions.

In brief, I served eight years in the military, including 4 years in a northeast Asia. As a result, my exposure to unfamiliar ethnic backgrounds and experiences became a daily occurrence. In addition, I worked under and with female NCOs and commanders. Given the closeness with which we worked, often in physically demanding situations, camaraderie happened organically. As I matured, I noted how my world broadened; however, my edification crystallized when I moved off-post in an apartment in the local community.

I was trained in the language and customs by the Department of Defense before I was deployed. I loved the country and its culture until I became the Other. As the command of the language increased, nettlesome events occurred that enraged me. It all boiled down to this: no matter how well I spoke the language, behaved, or understood the culture, my status as an alien with differently-colored skin and blue eyes would relegate me to a lesser class of human. Once this fact dawned on me in the fullest sense, my last year in-country was excruciating, every interaction with my hosts burdened by the unfairness of their racism towards me, a well-meaning white guy. I confided in a close friend (who was black) how furious the default assumption of my racial inferiority made me. The epiphany (finally) struck me that he lived his entire life coping with similar situations and ignorance.

The brief experience as Other was utterly transformative, which brings me back to your thoughts on this issue and why it resonated so strongly. My time in the military, as well as being steeped in a very different linguistic and ethnic culture, made me a much more complicated and tolerant white man. At the risk of breaching the too-corny threshold, I think it helps me be a better parent, a better spouse, and a better citizen.

Apologies for the long, inelegant comment; kudos for a fantastic, thought-provoking piece!

Thank You

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Linda Tuininga's avatar

Walter, this is the best, most hopeful perspective I’ve read in a long time. The care and thought you applied to describing your process of engaging honest observation and reflective insight is prescriptive, potent, and performative.

You opened your personal experience of connecting with the depth perception of reality that is rarely pursued—and the generosity of sharing the change that was wrought in you is remarkably, humbly and deeply humane. Thank you, you’re one hell of a teacher.

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