An Illustrated Guide to How “Right Shift” is Destroying America
Our country has become perilously divided, and it’s not an accident
Americans always talk about their version of something called “the political spectrum.” Media personalities create colorful line graphs which they label to make it appear as if it means something.
The spectrum has “left” on one end, “right” on the other end, and “center” in the center. We’re all supposed to be dazzled by this. Aren’t we smart?
The trouble is, this “political spectrum” never contains any units! When I was studying physics in college, the one thing my professors emphasized was that if a graph doesn’t contain units, it’s meaningless!
The next time you hear anyone use the terms “left,” “right,” or “center” ask them about the units! How many units of “left” is Bernie Sanders? How many units of “right” is Donald Trump? Nobody can tell you because this is not a scientific model. Our country uses political terms in a way that’s lazy and incorrect.
The problem is, any time ignorant assumptions are elevated to the point where they have the authority of a scientific concept, the result is detrimental to society. In the United States, for example, this lazy model of the “political spectrum” is pushing our country to the brink of destruction.
I’ll explain why it’s dangerous in a moment, but meanwhile have a muffin!
Yum, delicious muffins! Who doesn’t like muffins?
Wait a minute, why am I talking about muffins all of a sudden? Well, it’s because for the purposes of this article I decided to substitute terms like “money” or “resources” for muffins!
Muffins are more fun!
You see, if I talked in terms of money, we’d have to recognize that our country forces people to work for slave wages so that we can have things like cheap digital devices and fashionable footwear.
We’d have to recognize that we constantly divert money away from institutions such as public education so that we can build a nuclear arsenal capable of destroying the planet.
Nobody wants to think about that because it makes us worry that we might not be good people.
So, let’s just talk about muffins. Hoarding muffins is fine! Everybody likes muffins! I don’t feel guilty at all about having as many muffins as possible.
Delicious muffins!
So, you get it right? Muffins are resources that could be used for the benefit of humanity. But instead…
For some reason, we always shift all the muffins over to the right side of the political spectrum. We’ve been doing it for decades.
This is why the United States has the largest military in the world.
This is why the police force of the United States would rank as the 3rd largest military in the world.
This is why more people in the United States are in jail than in any other country in the world.
This is why there are constant attacks on social benefit institutions such as education, social security, and universal healthcare.
You see, in America, the right gets all the muffins. If they don’t get all the muffins, they throw a temper tantrum like this:
Let’s say you have two children but you only feed one of them. What happens?
That’s right, the child that gets fed grows and grows and grows. After a while, the bigger child can completely dominate the smaller child.
But, of course, nobody ever blames the political “right” for the out of control national debt. See? That’s just not the way we speak about politics in the United States.
Don’t you understand? There’s a spectrum, and on that spectrum is the left, and the left is responsible for all the problems.
It doesn’t matter that all our muffins go to feed the “right.” When anyone mentions that, the pompous oligarchs in charge of distribution platforms point back at the meaningless “left, right, center” graphic.
Look at the pretty colors! Aren’t we smart?
The result is that the right has continued to grow and grow and grow:
But ask yourself, how many muffins do you need before you have enough?
I know the answer! It’s infinity right! Whoo-hoo! More muffins for me! I want ALL the muffins.
And now that we’ve fed the right to the point where it’s a massive, gigantic bully, it can continue to push us even further to the right and get even MORE muffins!
The poor little left can’t resist all that power and muscle.
This brings us to the part that makes all Americans really confused. You see, no matter what we believe, there are actually two political spectrums!
There’s the political spectrum that we perceive in the United States, and there’s the political spectrum of unbiased reality.
There’s the political spectrum of propaganda, and there’s the political spectrum of truth.
When you superimpose the American spectrum over the unbiased spectrum, you get a shocking result.
The miniscule window that we use to define our concept of “left/right” balance only allows us to see a fragment of the larger spectrum.
The conflict of ideas that we have within our little window is just an illusion. It distracts us from the fact that everything within our cultural “window of acceptable political discourse” is on the right side of the larger reality.
So that means, here’s what the true United States “political spectrum” looks like:
Do you get it yet? There is no “left” in the United States. There’s only right and slightly less right.
Every now and then this subject slips into the media, like here for example, but it never seems to achieve any traction.
The reason is that Americans love their “left, center, right” spectrum and they don’t want to worry their pretty little heads with the actual definitions of words or the true complexity of political concepts.
Unfortunately, our national attitude of entitled ignorance has led us here:
One of the unfortunate truths about life is that you can’t be entitled and ignorant without consequences forever.
Our country has been doing the same things for decades and our society keeps getting worse. The debt keeps getting higher. Costs for healthcare and education are out of control. Meanwhile everyone always says that the answer is to keep going to the right.
That doesn’t work!
At some point the American public has to wake up and recognize that the “right” has been at the wheel this whole time!
We make all of our decisions based on a non-scientific and inaccurate model of the “left, center, right” political spectrum. Yeah, that model is as comforting as a nasty old blanket that we’ve never washed, but now that blanket is riddled with germs and it’s making us sick.
It’s time for the American public to crack open a dictionary, read the definition of words, and stop being driven to hysteria by the fear that our society will collapse if the government pays for the lunch of some impoverished child.
We’ve tried feeding the right. It’s still hungry.
Let’s try this instead… feed the progressives!
*Waits for Fox News to post this article as proof of the Death of America and a "commie uprising."*
Americans have two lefists: Sanders and AOC. Look how they get treated. No wonder they're not drawing crowds. We need them though.
So true!