Humanity Will Be WIPED OUT Unless You Read This
We're close to EXTINCTION LEVEL INCOMPETENCE!
Hello Friends!
I think I've finally figured it out! Our loser president is so terrified of going down in history as the most catastrophic failure of all time, that he's going to destroy the whole human race.
Boom! Gone! Wiped out!
He's on a tight schedule. He has to do it before they figure out the election was rigged and the assassination was staged. That on top of all his other crimes mean that the only way to escape accountability is to destroy the whole world.
Meanwhile, folks up in Appalachia who have been deluded into thinking the Vice-President is one of them are shouting, “YEEE-HAW!”
Perhaps the most stunning thing is how few people truly recognize the extent to which the world is going to hell. Like, the Republicans are literally trying to destroy the world. They're probably pawing through Nikola Tesla's old notes looking for some plans on how to make a “world breaking” device (he had an idea for one—it worked on resonance).
It reminds me of a parent who glances over to see his baby is dousing himself with gasoline, and then casually looks back to the paper he was reading. In a nasally voice he mutters, “You better clean up after yourself.”
Meanwhile, the kid has moved on to a box of matches.
Yesterday I scrolled through the news and I saw that the Packers had signed a cornerback from the Raiders. They gave him a four year deal.
How optimistic! They actually think the world will still be here in four years?
Honestly, I was impressed by the optimism of the sportswriter too (assuming it wasn't AI). People are watching the world go down in flames, and other people are saying, “So... what are you doing next September?”
“By then I expect the flesh will have rotted from my bones. The hard surface will be picked clean by insects. I will have taken on a bleached white appearance.”
“So, do you think the Packers have a chance?”
“Naw, there will only be a crater where Lambeau field used to be. The rivers will run with Sulfuric acid. There will be no breathable air. All we will know is pain and cancer and disease and weakness and misery...”
“Do you think the league will outlaw the tush push?”
This is what it's like having conversations with people today. A small percentage of us is despondent and in grief, the rest of us think everything is fine. They're trotting along like Goofy on his way to a fishing vacation.
Poor pitiful old Goofy, he always thought everything would turn out fine. But every single time he tried to do anything he ended up suffering painful and humiliating injuries. Yet he keeps getting out of bed. He keeps confidently marching into his local polling place to vote.
“Gowrsh! End of the world! Sounds good to me! Ha-yuck, ha-yuck, ha-yuck!”
Folks, I don't mean to bring you down today, but it's not just the end of the USA, it's the end of humanity. We voted in the beast. He's going to bring about judgment day. He's going to rend the world in twain because that will make it easier to get at the oil.
He's going to nuke the hurricanes.
He's going to gargle bleach.
He's going to ride an electric armor plated vehicle to tilt with a cancer causing windmill.
Are you seeing it yet? I didn't make any of that up! In one way or another he's said all those things. The guy wants to kill us! He wants to kill us all. He wants us to suffer.
And Goofy voted for him.
“Gowrsh!”
Meanwhile, the rest of our power mad politicians don't see this as any sort of an opportunity to consolidate their influence. They're too busy doing nothing.
“What should we do?”
“NOTHING!”
“When do we do it?”
“FOREVER!”
Except, of course, when a bright and strong woman speaks up to say, “Hey, let's use the power of the government to pay for band aids.”
Then the feckless rise up with astonishing power to scream, “NO! YOU AREN'T READY FOR A LEADERSHIP POSITION! EVERYTHING BAD THAT'S GOING ON RIGHT NOW IS CAUSED BY PEOPLE LIKE YOU WHO TRY TO STOP IT! DON'T YOU KNOW THAT WE'RE SMARTER THAN YOU? SIT DOWN AND SHUT UP AND DO NOTHING OR YOU'RE PART OF THE PROBLEM!”
Meanwhile, there's lava in the streets, the levels are rising. The rich are using the bodies of homeless kids as barricades, even as they preach about how dearly they hold the concept of life.
“Death to you all! We love life!”
Goofy says, “Gowrsh!”
The only thing that seems to be motivating our president is the escape of accountability. He must escape. It makes him so mad when people tell him his abuses cause them harm. How dare they say such things? Don't they know how badly it makes him feel when other people complain about how badly he makes them feel? This is his definition of selfishness—it applies only to others.
Soon the world will end and he will have never been held accountable. He'll be able to erase his failure from time because the race of people who witnessed it were rendered extinct by his hand. Judgment day is coming, but even that means nothing when it applies to everyone all at once.
Complete and total destruction is the only semblance of a victory that loser can manage.
Meanwhile, some eternally optimistic dupes really expect that there will be an NFL season in the fall.
“GOWRSH!”
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I actually avoided reading this hoping that humanity will be wiped out. That's where I'm at today.
Like Jim Jones, he doesn’t want to die alone.
Remember Jonestown? We all live there now.