Bravo! Everything you say here is true. It's so obvious and you're correct, we must end this cycle. Perhaps we could send them all to pedo47s ICE detention camps. I mean, the camps are already there, it seems a shame to waste all that money.
Yep. They need a dose or three of reality to smack them in the mouth. There's no free lunch and the eternal "victims" should not get one either. So sick of them asking for considerations they never give or intend to.
Walter, the part about your father's physical violence stopping the moment you were big enough to fight back, and him still insisting o gaslighting you saying it was all accidental. That one detail exposes the entire architecture of that kind of man. It was never accidental. It was always calculated risk.
What you did by choosing differently with your own kids is exactly what is required when breaking cycles. Interrupting that pattern when it's all you were shown is one of the hardest things a person can do. You did it anyway. That matters.
It is what drove my special interest in brain development. My father has an amygdala the size of a pea. He endured so much abuse from his parents, that he doesn't have the capacity to be a normal human being. He's been stuck in his child brain his entire life. Which makes him a danger to me.
Walter this is amazing! Same here with the father I have very little contact with-I wasn’t allowed to have Ketchup as a kid/teen. I was too fat for those extra calories…I hate mustard & my body to this day. Thanks for giving this stuff words 💙
While reading this I couldn't help but think of my grandfather. It wasn't just my grandma who apologized for him. My mom and two always were as well. And like your dad, he stopped getting physical with me I was a teenager. As a kid I was just trying to survive. As an adult I wondered why the rest of the family didn't see what I saw. But you're absolutely correct that we give these men way too much leeway.
Bravo! Everything you say here is true. It's so obvious and you're correct, we must end this cycle. Perhaps we could send them all to pedo47s ICE detention camps. I mean, the camps are already there, it seems a shame to waste all that money.
Yep. They need a dose or three of reality to smack them in the mouth. There's no free lunch and the eternal "victims" should not get one either. So sick of them asking for considerations they never give or intend to.
Walter, the part about your father's physical violence stopping the moment you were big enough to fight back, and him still insisting o gaslighting you saying it was all accidental. That one detail exposes the entire architecture of that kind of man. It was never accidental. It was always calculated risk.
What you did by choosing differently with your own kids is exactly what is required when breaking cycles. Interrupting that pattern when it's all you were shown is one of the hardest things a person can do. You did it anyway. That matters.
Thank you for writing this.
Thank you Eevie! Yes. He hurt intentionally. But he figured out how to remove his sense of accountability. That's what we see all around us.
Never taking accountability is a feature of Patriarchy. It’s always someone else’s fault.
The psychology of how they think interests me. I want to provoke spontaneous accountability
It is what drove my special interest in brain development. My father has an amygdala the size of a pea. He endured so much abuse from his parents, that he doesn't have the capacity to be a normal human being. He's been stuck in his child brain his entire life. Which makes him a danger to me.
Can the amygdala change shape?
100%.
Walter this is amazing! Same here with the father I have very little contact with-I wasn’t allowed to have Ketchup as a kid/teen. I was too fat for those extra calories…I hate mustard & my body to this day. Thanks for giving this stuff words 💙
I'm sorry you had to endure that. Strength to you!
While reading this I couldn't help but think of my grandfather. It wasn't just my grandma who apologized for him. My mom and two always were as well. And like your dad, he stopped getting physical with me I was a teenager. As a kid I was just trying to survive. As an adult I wondered why the rest of the family didn't see what I saw. But you're absolutely correct that we give these men way too much leeway.
Thank you for choosing wisely and loving your family more than enough to break the chains and create a new loving life.
Thanks Jo!
You are welcome.