Do I Really Have to Update My Profile Picture Every 15 Years?

Maybe I'll ask my wife to go on another photo shoot with me and we can recreate this one :)

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Hello Friends!

It’s the start of another week. We’re settling into summer here in northern Wisconsin. We’ve had a couple of robins build a nest in our garage. Over the last few days, we’ve been watching them feed the chicks that just hatched. Apparently, the chicks are only in the nest for a couple weeks and then they’ll go flying off to start the whole cycle again.

It makes me laugh to think mommy and daddy robin don’t have to worry about how screwed up our society is! They spend all day hopping around in the yard trying to find enough worms to feed those hungry mouths!

Lives are hard everywhere.

Speaking of lives (how’s that for a segue?)…

I expect you’ve noticed that I’ve been doing a lot of Substack lives lately.

Philip Ogley

mentioned it in a funny article on Medium that you can read here. He also teased me about my profile pic, which I’ve been meaning to comment on, so here goes:

The origins of my notorious profile pic

Back in 2011, I’d just signed a contract for my book Beyond Birkie Fever. I was a new father, I’d just gotten my teaching license, things were going pretty good, but not so good that I felt inclined to waste money on a professional headshot.

“Can I just go without an author photo?” I asked.

“No, we really need an author photo! All the books on publishing and whatnot say you absolutely must have an author photo!”

“But that’s ridiculous! I wanted to write exactly because I didn’t want to have people looking at me!”

They kept insisting, and finally I sent them a picture of me sitting at Machu Picchu. I thought it was a good picture because it reflected who I actually was.

Come on now! If I was browsing at a book store and I found a book with that author pic on the back, I’d ABSOLUTELY buy that book. It could be a cooking book for all I care. I’d be like, “I’m buying this… that guy gets me.”

The publisher was like, “Yeah… no.”

I said, “Come on!”

“No, we need one of your face!” the publisher said.

I said, “Here’s another one I’ve always liked. It’s from a winter game of football.”

As I sit here looking at that picture now, I have to tell you that you should absolutely NOT play football with a guy who looks like that. I used to hurt people. Not in a mean way. I used to hurt people like you sometimes get hurt when you’re playing with a 100 pound German Shepherd.

The dog doesn’t mean to hurt you, he’s just boisterous.

I used to be boisterous.

All of my preferred author pics featured me drinking. I’ve quit drinking since then.

I sent the email to my publisher and received only a long, uncomfortable silence. I’m used to those silences in real life, but it was disquieting to experience one in an email.

Finally they wrote back and explained they were thinking more along the lines of a suit jacket with patches on the elbows.

So I sighed and I got my wife and we went out for a walk and she took a bunch of pictures. Funny enough, the publisher didn’t pick the one I use as my profile pic for the book. But I like that one. As I said, I was a new father, and I was looking at my wife, so I feel the expression on my face does represent who I am.

Anyway, that’s 14 years ago, so I don’t mean to do a bait and switch on everyone (in my defense, this isn’t a dating app). It’s just that it takes a while to build up your following and your profile picture becomes part of your brand. I have been considering swapping it out for the cartoon image I use all the time:

I even have a more formal picture of the cartoon version of myself:

But I haven’t done it yet. Interestingly enough, I brought this idea up to Philip and he said I shouldn’t swap it out because my profile pic is “iconic… almost.”

That’s not the word I’d use. But I will say that nobody misses that young man from 2011 more than me! Wouldn’t it be nice to go back in time and tell yourself everything is going to be okay?

I can’t do that, so I’ll tell you.

“Everything is going to be okay!”

Don’t you feel better?

I hope so.

I mean it, everything is going to be okay.

The thing is, I’m a time traveler now. 50 years man! It takes its toll on you but you also learn a few things. It’s sort of like magic. You can’t fake it. You come out different and not quite as pretty (not on the outside anyway, wink, wink).

Street performance?

Philip went on to suggest Substack is a form of “street performance,” and I don’t necessarily object to that description either. I’ve seen some very good street performers. I think it’s an excellent way to practice your craft.

Let me tell you about the Substack lives…

I always tell people that I don’t expect them to read everything I write. Nobody has the time for that. Heck… I don’t have the time for that. Just swing by when you can and take a look at the work in progress. If I’m on something that captivates you, stick around. If you don’t like what I’m doing, wait five minutes.

Since the election, Substack has been a lifesaver for me. I’ve really enjoyed reaching out to my fellow writers. I’m discovering that I love talking to them. The ones that have come over from Medium feel like long lost friends. I also appreciate the new people I’ve met because of Substack.

I do have to be a little bit careful because it’s tempting to just sit around and do lives all day. But I can’t do that because even though they’re fun, they’re also kind of exhausting. There is a lot of brain power among the people who write here, and it takes all my energy to keep up with them. Sometimes after talking with one of you highly intelligent people, I find my thoughts go spinning for hours and hours after.

I’ll take the dog for a walk and dictate articles into the voice recorder. That’s how revved up I am. It’s marvelous

I see the conversations on live as a work in progress. I don’t have time to contemplate the ideas during the conversations. That comes when I write the articles later. If you watch the conversations and read the articles, you should be able to trace a line back to the point of inception.

Kind of neat, isn’t it?

So, what I’m trying to say is I’m going to keep doing the Substack lives because they inspire me. Other writers inspire me. That’s the way it should be.

Final verdict on the profile picture?

Now that I’ve set you guys up, maybe I will go and do some ridiculous author photo of me smoking a pipe with my chin on my fist while staring off into the distance. There can be an inset of another picture of me looking in a different direction.

Speaking of that, that’s something I used to do when I was young. Whenever I was in a group photo, I used to look off in a different direction from everyone else. I always thought it was hilarious. I can’t find any of those photos though.

But I can’t sit around giggling and making ridiculous author photos of myself, I won’t have time for writing or lives. I like to be inspired.

I might have to see if Philip wants to do one. He wrote an article in which both my name and the word “Genius” appeared in the title.

It’s a street performance, heck yeah! I’m a street writer and I always have been.

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