When I think back to the verbal expressions used decades ago by my older relatives, including my father who was otherwise a loving and kind man (and gone since 1990), I just cringe. Sometimes they were using words that were commonplace at the time, or had been, but they always made me uncomfortable, even as a child. I just didn't know how to challenge them, if I even could, or how they might have reacted. One moment, almost 40 years ago, still haunts me and I wish I had spoken up, to my endless regret.
People can say things quite unwittingly which is why there are things like liberal arts and critical studies. Presently we are at a time and place where it is fashionable even acceptable to despise the 'woke'. I think it is a pity but to the frothing key board warrior or poorly paid journalist it's just a space to let off a little steam and no harm done. Words have power however and whether or not we can resolve our present difficulties may rest with this.
Your wife’s harassment stories make me so sad. Like you, I am an optimist, and believe people have innate goodness, even if buried deeply. Thank you for your continuing effort to pull away the curtain, and help us to honestly look at ourselves.
Thank you, and the worst part for me is that she has it a lot better than many of the innocent immigrants, many of them children, who come to this country looking for a better life. Many of whom have to come because the USA destroyed or destabilized their country.
Damn! You make me cry every time, lol. I think a lack of accountability is one of the biggest things we are up against in the era of tr*mpism. Yes, it’s always been there. I know. But I think it has multiplied to such a degree that I wonder if we will ever get decency back as a norm. Thank you for sharing about your wife’s experiences. I have no doubt this happens regularly.
You're kind Suzanne. Thank you for your words. There are decent people out there. We just have to give them a platform. Just remember what it felt like to watch Harris, or Biden or Obama speak. They are all good people.
I think that one of the most poorly hidden secrets of being human is our propensity to too often be an asshole dealing with other people. I’ve never actually counted out the number of times I have been that guy in various contexts, that’s probably a survival mechanism. It probably most often comes out in pressure situations whether it’s like that truck driving moment or an uncomfortable person to person moment. Knowing that I have been and still can be the asshole does help me try to avoid it but it’s not a rock solid guarantee against it - something I also try to remember when dealing with an asshole.
We are all conditioned to be racists and it shows growth when you recognize those thoughts and they embarrass you. Keep studying and keep on the righteous path!
Well said .. I keep thinking of your family .. how outrageous people are .. maybe they will get over themselves someday .. but I doubt it .. in the meantime your fans will rally around you … because we like your writing and know that your wife does too ..
Thanks Gene, I really appreciate that. We renewed our passports over break and I've made some other plans so we can get out of here if things go bad. The problem is that I'm 50, and I'm invested in this country. I don't like the idea that the new administration is going to loot the country and leave the rest of us holding the bag. It saddens me to think of all the people who are going to be hurt. Many people don't have the opportunity to leave the country. It's always best to plan for the worst and hope for the best, but I never really thought I'd be planning for things as bad as it appears we're facing right now. The more we speak up against hate, the more we'll have our voice heard, at least I hope that's true!
You and your wife would do better, in all likelihood here in Hawaii. Some neighborhoods are better than others though, even here. And believe me, we are terrified here by the prospect of a Trump Presidency.
I wish it was so them realizing their torment to others, but I am afraid our only path to that at this time is for them to have a great catastrophe happen. We were there in 2020 with the pandemic, but was lessened with the fast save of a vaccine and our voting reflected that. The only way out of this is to see 2025-2028 play out great destruction is in the works and we must brace ourselves for them , we know this is coming, they do not.
My heart hurts when you write about your wife’s ill treatment. I’ve seen dear friends suffer the same treatment over gender and race. I have spoken up and will continue to do so even though, sadly, it often feels like it falls on deaf ears. But as a white American, we have to call out one another because people rarely hear or even properly see the person they’re attacking. It’s rooted in ignorance and fear, I think.
It's good to be aware of how you (a person - anyone in fact) is perceived in the world, it's wrong to contribute to prejudice and make other people's lives less tolerable especially from a position of privilege or power. I am continually surprised at the low level or even blatant sexism I personally encounter - it's rather depressing. The day 'objectification' was taught in liberal studies was obviously a day off sick for many. What a shame...!!!
When I think back to the verbal expressions used decades ago by my older relatives, including my father who was otherwise a loving and kind man (and gone since 1990), I just cringe. Sometimes they were using words that were commonplace at the time, or had been, but they always made me uncomfortable, even as a child. I just didn't know how to challenge them, if I even could, or how they might have reacted. One moment, almost 40 years ago, still haunts me and I wish I had spoken up, to my endless regret.
People can say things quite unwittingly which is why there are things like liberal arts and critical studies. Presently we are at a time and place where it is fashionable even acceptable to despise the 'woke'. I think it is a pity but to the frothing key board warrior or poorly paid journalist it's just a space to let off a little steam and no harm done. Words have power however and whether or not we can resolve our present difficulties may rest with this.
Your wife’s harassment stories make me so sad. Like you, I am an optimist, and believe people have innate goodness, even if buried deeply. Thank you for your continuing effort to pull away the curtain, and help us to honestly look at ourselves.
Thank you, and the worst part for me is that she has it a lot better than many of the innocent immigrants, many of them children, who come to this country looking for a better life. Many of whom have to come because the USA destroyed or destabilized their country.
Damn! You make me cry every time, lol. I think a lack of accountability is one of the biggest things we are up against in the era of tr*mpism. Yes, it’s always been there. I know. But I think it has multiplied to such a degree that I wonder if we will ever get decency back as a norm. Thank you for sharing about your wife’s experiences. I have no doubt this happens regularly.
You're kind Suzanne. Thank you for your words. There are decent people out there. We just have to give them a platform. Just remember what it felt like to watch Harris, or Biden or Obama speak. They are all good people.
I think that one of the most poorly hidden secrets of being human is our propensity to too often be an asshole dealing with other people. I’ve never actually counted out the number of times I have been that guy in various contexts, that’s probably a survival mechanism. It probably most often comes out in pressure situations whether it’s like that truck driving moment or an uncomfortable person to person moment. Knowing that I have been and still can be the asshole does help me try to avoid it but it’s not a rock solid guarantee against it - something I also try to remember when dealing with an asshole.
Yes, wanting to make up for my past mistakes is a great motivator for me as well!
Despite being a West Coast liberal, I have admittedly racist thoughts. I embarrass myself
We are all conditioned to be racists and it shows growth when you recognize those thoughts and they embarrass you. Keep studying and keep on the righteous path!
Well said .. I keep thinking of your family .. how outrageous people are .. maybe they will get over themselves someday .. but I doubt it .. in the meantime your fans will rally around you … because we like your writing and know that your wife does too ..
Thanks Gene, I really appreciate that. We renewed our passports over break and I've made some other plans so we can get out of here if things go bad. The problem is that I'm 50, and I'm invested in this country. I don't like the idea that the new administration is going to loot the country and leave the rest of us holding the bag. It saddens me to think of all the people who are going to be hurt. Many people don't have the opportunity to leave the country. It's always best to plan for the worst and hope for the best, but I never really thought I'd be planning for things as bad as it appears we're facing right now. The more we speak up against hate, the more we'll have our voice heard, at least I hope that's true!
You and your wife would do better, in all likelihood here in Hawaii. Some neighborhoods are better than others though, even here. And believe me, we are terrified here by the prospect of a Trump Presidency.
Followed your link over from BlueSky! Have you listened to Trae Crowder’s recent show about Thanksgiving Dinner?
Nope, I haven’t. Do you have a link?
I think he actually has a website. He’s a stand up comedian who calls himself the Liberal Redneck. Try traecrowder.com
I wish it was so them realizing their torment to others, but I am afraid our only path to that at this time is for them to have a great catastrophe happen. We were there in 2020 with the pandemic, but was lessened with the fast save of a vaccine and our voting reflected that. The only way out of this is to see 2025-2028 play out great destruction is in the works and we must brace ourselves for them , we know this is coming, they do not.
My heart hurts when you write about your wife’s ill treatment. I’ve seen dear friends suffer the same treatment over gender and race. I have spoken up and will continue to do so even though, sadly, it often feels like it falls on deaf ears. But as a white American, we have to call out one another because people rarely hear or even properly see the person they’re attacking. It’s rooted in ignorance and fear, I think.
Well said. Yes, keep speaking up. It helps.
It's good to be aware of how you (a person - anyone in fact) is perceived in the world, it's wrong to contribute to prejudice and make other people's lives less tolerable especially from a position of privilege or power. I am continually surprised at the low level or even blatant sexism I personally encounter - it's rather depressing. The day 'objectification' was taught in liberal studies was obviously a day off sick for many. What a shame...!!!
The church teaches that women are second class citizens, imagine all the lectures that go on in our country without any pushback. It's depressing.