No it isn’t “as old as humanity”. The Patriarchal system didn’t arrive in human society until men invented and then perverted, religion.
There is a great deal,of archeological evidence that shows men and women worked equally as hunters, gatherers, protectors and parents for a very long period of human development, right up until they created religion and made men the supreme arbitrators of what was or wan’t okay. They created patriarchy.
This is why it was so important to have a role model out there in Second Gentleman Doug Emhoff and his unyielding support of VP Harris. Also, to add, LGBTQ families are also attacked by those who uphold the toxic patriarchy family view. Many enemy organizations that attack queer rights have “family” in the name. The obsession with there being only one kind of family leads to reckless destruction and lives being torn apart.
I agree. We have too few decent male role models in our society, and too few examples of women in power. The hate attacks on the LGBTQ community and on immigrants are absolutely shameful. Thank you for your comment!
I’ve felt for a long time now that the effort to deny women’s rights and the denial of systemic racism is simply a power struggle of white men. They see the emergence of stronger women and minorities as a threat to their ultimate power. Your story certainly illustrates this, a father feeling threatened by his families independence. It seems in this era of the patriarchy striving to drag us back that this will forever be a struggle.
Thanks for a glimpse of how the other half lived. I think I may have become a “feminist” watching my mother cope first with being left a widowed single parent of 3 before age 30, and then survive two more husbands and a partner starting all of this in the 1950s. My father and two “stepfathers” were each different men, the first stepfather had already raised one family to adulthood and relied on that experience while the second had no interest but offered the perfect foil for teenage rebellion in the 1960s.
Yea, the patriarchal system is nothing but toxic for everyone involved. We could learn a lot from the Mosuo in China before they disappear.
The family unit is multigenerational and the head is the eldest mother. Uncles are the male role model, all together are responsible for supporting the economics of the household, chores and childrearing.
The men go see their lovers at night in the “flower rooms” and go back home in the morning. There is no marriage. People were happy, now unfortunately modern life and ideas and the Chinese govt have encroached into one of the last matriarchal societies.
Nevertheless, it is a much more sane and humane arrangement leading to happier and healthier children, who are raised by a kind of village. This is how we are built. Patriarchy is toxic because it works against how we are built and only leads to endless trauma.
Sorry but your dad was a malignant narcissist with massive insecurities. Yet so common with wholly inadequate men who emotionally torture others to feel superior. I’m sorry you and your mom had to deal with that. Im also sad that your mom felt she needed his “permission” to get a job.
You obviously learned from his mistakes and grew up to become a confident, secure man who is supportive of women. Thank you.
No need to apologize, that was my diagnosis as well :) It's very difficult to grow out of a reality like that. I almost didn't make it, and I had a lot of advantages. Food for thought, thanks for the comment!
National Domestic Violence fact: Over 1 in 3 women (35.6%) and 1 in 4 men (28.5%) in the US have experienced rape, physical violence, and/or stalking by an intimate partner in their lifetime. When, how, and who will stop abusive behavior and disregard for other human rights? Seems like the highest priority for us is to pour resources into the support that families need to function. Economically, and socially, it's easier to solve these problems in the highchair than in the electric chair.
Thanks for sharing your story. I certainly recognize this kind of household. My mom had a job for several years after high school, served as a Sergeant in the Marines during World War II, and was then relegated to “housewife” when she married, because my dad didn’t want her to work outside the home. Over the years I was growing up, she went from a person with her own ideas to someone who simply parroted what Pop said. It was a sad transformation, but watching it made me all the more independent.
"God is in the house." I think that sentence can explain exactly how patriarchal figures see themselves.
(Actually, it has a more positive meaning: Jazz pianist Art Tatum got called "God" because his playing was so good other musicians couldn't keep up with him!).
Very true. But the patriarchal model is as old as humanity and irrespective of culture. I have little hope of it changing in my lifetime.
I don’t know if that’s true. I think some cultures have existed that didn’t embrace that model. There have been a lot of cultures in the world.
Perhaps. If so, very few.
No it isn’t “as old as humanity”. The Patriarchal system didn’t arrive in human society until men invented and then perverted, religion.
There is a great deal,of archeological evidence that shows men and women worked equally as hunters, gatherers, protectors and parents for a very long period of human development, right up until they created religion and made men the supreme arbitrators of what was or wan’t okay. They created patriarchy.
Even today there are pockets of Matriarchy, even if they are disappearing. See The Mosuo. I write about it in a later comment on this thread.
I stand corrected. My point stands, however. I don't see patriarchy disappearing in my lifetime.
Excellent sociological piece. Happy Holidays
Thanks Greg!
This is why it was so important to have a role model out there in Second Gentleman Doug Emhoff and his unyielding support of VP Harris. Also, to add, LGBTQ families are also attacked by those who uphold the toxic patriarchy family view. Many enemy organizations that attack queer rights have “family” in the name. The obsession with there being only one kind of family leads to reckless destruction and lives being torn apart.
I agree. We have too few decent male role models in our society, and too few examples of women in power. The hate attacks on the LGBTQ community and on immigrants are absolutely shameful. Thank you for your comment!
I’ve felt for a long time now that the effort to deny women’s rights and the denial of systemic racism is simply a power struggle of white men. They see the emergence of stronger women and minorities as a threat to their ultimate power. Your story certainly illustrates this, a father feeling threatened by his families independence. It seems in this era of the patriarchy striving to drag us back that this will forever be a struggle.
Thanks for a glimpse of how the other half lived. I think I may have become a “feminist” watching my mother cope first with being left a widowed single parent of 3 before age 30, and then survive two more husbands and a partner starting all of this in the 1950s. My father and two “stepfathers” were each different men, the first stepfather had already raised one family to adulthood and relied on that experience while the second had no interest but offered the perfect foil for teenage rebellion in the 1960s.
I bet you have some great stories to tell. Please let me know if you feel inclined to write them!
Yea, the patriarchal system is nothing but toxic for everyone involved. We could learn a lot from the Mosuo in China before they disappear.
The family unit is multigenerational and the head is the eldest mother. Uncles are the male role model, all together are responsible for supporting the economics of the household, chores and childrearing.
The men go see their lovers at night in the “flower rooms” and go back home in the morning. There is no marriage. People were happy, now unfortunately modern life and ideas and the Chinese govt have encroached into one of the last matriarchal societies.
Nevertheless, it is a much more sane and humane arrangement leading to happier and healthier children, who are raised by a kind of village. This is how we are built. Patriarchy is toxic because it works against how we are built and only leads to endless trauma.
That's interesting, I've never heard of an arrangement like that!
Sorry but your dad was a malignant narcissist with massive insecurities. Yet so common with wholly inadequate men who emotionally torture others to feel superior. I’m sorry you and your mom had to deal with that. Im also sad that your mom felt she needed his “permission” to get a job.
You obviously learned from his mistakes and grew up to become a confident, secure man who is supportive of women. Thank you.
No need to apologize, that was my diagnosis as well :) It's very difficult to grow out of a reality like that. I almost didn't make it, and I had a lot of advantages. Food for thought, thanks for the comment!
They annihilated it. Solid work.
National Domestic Violence fact: Over 1 in 3 women (35.6%) and 1 in 4 men (28.5%) in the US have experienced rape, physical violence, and/or stalking by an intimate partner in their lifetime. When, how, and who will stop abusive behavior and disregard for other human rights? Seems like the highest priority for us is to pour resources into the support that families need to function. Economically, and socially, it's easier to solve these problems in the highchair than in the electric chair.
Thanks for sharing your story. I certainly recognize this kind of household. My mom had a job for several years after high school, served as a Sergeant in the Marines during World War II, and was then relegated to “housewife” when she married, because my dad didn’t want her to work outside the home. Over the years I was growing up, she went from a person with her own ideas to someone who simply parroted what Pop said. It was a sad transformation, but watching it made me all the more independent.
"God is in the house." I think that sentence can explain exactly how patriarchal figures see themselves.
(Actually, it has a more positive meaning: Jazz pianist Art Tatum got called "God" because his playing was so good other musicians couldn't keep up with him!).
Thank you!
Great fucking article!!!
Thank you Marg! I appreciate that comment :)
Well said. I had never thought of it that way until I read this.
Thank you!
Thank YOU! I enjoy your posts a lot man, appreciate you.