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Leslye Jones-Beatty's avatar

This is a very insightful piece, and I thank you for sharing it.

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Patricia Lane's avatar

All true. Acknowledging our pain sets us free. Unless we use it to bludgeon ourselves with it.

The idea is to acknowledge in order to set ourselves free. Where we can get in trouble is when we hold on to the pain and relive it every chance we get .

We have to learn that we are not required to continue to be a victim .

It’s a great discussion because the truth is of course , that if you’re alive for any length of time , you will be hurt. But avoid the people who savor hurting others.

These people are twisted . Yes, they have been hurt , but as you say they attempt to deal with things by hurting others . It’s going on like crazy in this country now . Merciless hurt to immigrants . Poor people . Minorities.

We have to say it’s wrong and go to their aid , as much as we can.

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Walter Rhein's avatar

Absolutely, thanks for the lovely comment!

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Teri Gelini's avatar

Excellent description of past abuse. No amount or ruminating will help someone move forward in life. There will always be triggers that will bring abuse to the forefront and we have to learn to put it back in a safe place to keep going. a perfect example would bee th #ME TOO movement. i would wager millions of women of all ages were affected.

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Fred Johnson's avatar

Takes self-reflection. That's "pondering." How does that fit in with God, guns, and guts?

As I often repeat (thanks, Master Kahn): "Violence has no mind."

It did, but it got in the way of efficiency.

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Stacey Martin's avatar

This was a thought provoking piece. As someone in therapy finally (at age 62) doing the work needed to be at peace in the future, I recognize more and more the pain that we're all in on some level. Yes, you can love the abuser, and that love can be separate from the abuse. It may mean the abuser is no longer part of your life, but good memories can still exist.

It's hard not to look at the world and think - so many are suffering worse, do I should be grateful or just let it go. But the more you push it away, the more you make your own and other people's lives unpleasant and painful.

We all need to acknowledge the reality of our pain. It's the only way out.

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