We Have to Teach People the Importance of Spreading a Message of Kindness

The second day of dealing with our new reality

Hello friends,

I wanted to start off by expressing my appreciation for all the wonderful comments and messages you sent me yesterday. Over these many months of writing this newsletter, I've gotten to know a lot of you very well. One silver lining of yesterday is that your responses have made me feel a lot closer to you. There is a wonderful community here and I appreciate each and every one of you.

I feel marginally better today than I did yesterday because I was finally able to sleep. Part of the problem of watching an election is that it takes all night and is both physically and emotionally exhausting.

In case you were wondering, my wife handles these things better than I do. She has tremendous strength and she's able to shut out the world and carry on in a way that's truly admirable. We are complimentary people, and she carries the load in times like these when I'm struggling.

What I'm feeling is depression, but this is nothing new. When I was very young, I often struggled to eat and I got so thin my mom became worried. I've come to understand that this was a response to my father's abusive nature, but I didn't realize that at the time. I needed to wear suspenders because I couldn't get a belt to work.

I'm dropping weight now, too, though that could actually be called another silver lining. I'm always trying to drop weight this time of year, but lately I have extra motivation. My youngest daughter just finished her cross-country season. She's gotten accustomed to running two miles a day and she wants me to continue the trend with her.

The first time I went out with her was a wake up call. I really struggled. I used to be a runner but lately breathing issues and being overweight have made it difficult. I knew, though, that if I could “blow out” my lungs, I'd feel better the next time. That turned out to be true. On Tuesday, we did our 2 mile loop in less than 20 minutes, which is fine for an old guy. It's a tough loop with a hill in the middle.

My daughter wants to get down to an 8 minute mile, so that's our objective. But basketball season has also started and the local YMCA is a mile from our house. So, our plan for today is to run the first mile to the Y, stop and shoot some free throws, and then run home.

I've come to realize that my main area of concern in this whole ordeal is the mental health of my children. It would be so much nicer for them to live in a community that embraced kindness and compassion rather than hate and grievance. I wish hate and grievance weren't in the media so often.

But also, in recognizing that, I realize that I have contributed a certain amount of it myself. So, this morning, I went through and deleted many of my recent articles. I want to turn the page and be a voice of positivity. Everything is different now, and kindness is the void in the zeitgeist that needs to be filled.

So, I resolve to do that.

Many of my fears regarding my children are derived from my own childhood. There was negativity at school and I came home to negativity at home. In an ideal world, you'd find positivity in both those places. I know that my girls come home to a positive family life. From what they've told me, their school community is positive as well. For the time being, I believe they'll be okay.

Plus, they are getting older and more powerful by the minute. But still I'm fearful about the effect turning up the dial on anger will have on them. Perhaps this moment in time will give me the opportunity to understand well enough to convey to them how to recognize this anger and avoid it in the future.

I should think of that as another silver lining.

I find myself having a hard time reading the assessments about why Harris didn't get enough of the vote. People are saying, “Well, that's democracy.” But it's not democracy really if the voting public has been so thoroughly brainwashed that they select the dangerous choice.

It's frustrating that Biden never received credit for building the greatest economy the world has ever seen. I brought this up to a friend of mine who is a financial advisor. He agreed, and then I saw a flash of surprise on his face as if he hadn't realized how good a job Biden was doing. “This is as good as an economy can be,” I said, “if you try to overheat it at this point, it will collapse.”

He agreed with me on that. I expect that we'll be looking at a much less stable economy over the next four years. People who are close to retirement age are going to have a rough go of it.

Our media is filled with nothing but a steady stream of lies. I think that's because we no longer have independent media. Instead, we have one or two conglomerates that control all the messaging. These conglomerates spread a one sided message that leaves people ill-equipped to make good decisions.

For some reason, the Democrats keep failing to recognize this is happening. For the life of me, I don't know why they don't address this problem. There is no news station for Democrats that constantly discusses all the things they do well.

On the other side, the Republicans have news stations that have people on air 24 hours a day making baseless claims that Democrats are responsible for all their problems.

Our country effectively just voted to keep minimum wage low, cut social security, eliminate the affordable care act, and raise the retirement age. None of these things is going to help working class people, yet working class people are cheering as if they've just scored a grand victory.

It's tragic.

I'm also seeing stories that are blaming progressives, which is absurd. Progressives have never had any power in our government. If people wanted change, progressives are exactly the group they should turn to. However, we have an unfair corporate media that doesn't even attempt to print the truth.

Yesterday, as I was on my walk with the dog, I accepted the reality that I'm never going to be a big publishing house writer. I'm just not. The things I believe and the things I think are important just go against everything those businesses stand for.

Also, it's discouraging to recognize that a message of hope, compassion, and responsibility is always going to struggle to find fertile soil in the United States. Hate and grievance are much more profitable in the short term.

What we desperately need is more people out there who are spreading a positive message. We have to do our part to cool off the hatred. Over the next few years, there are going to be many efforts to stoke the flames. It will be the job of our side to cool them off. Even if we just blow air on them from a distance, it all adds up.

This is why I often invite my readers to submit articles to Medium. Substack requires daily writing, but Medium works for thoughtful people who have something to say but don't have the time available to invest to generate a following. As a Boost nominator, I can send some readers to quality work and help to get it seen.

Sometimes not as many people go as I would like, but as I continue to grow here on Substack, I will be able to get more eyes on quality work. Speaking of that, here's a wonderful article by Will Fullwood that I nominated for a Boost:

The Insights I’ve Gained Through Having Honest Conversations About Race

That's a friend link so you can read it even if you're not a Medium member.

I'm still planning on doing my short video chat with paid subscribers this Sunday. Yesterday I didn't know if I'd be able to manage it, but I think it's important. I had been hoping it would be a day of celebration as we turned the page on a major source of anxiety. Now, we'll be discussing how to contend with the anxiety that's been dumped upon us.

I truly think the answer is for all of us to share our stories. We have to combat the negativity and misinformation that can be found in the corporate media. This will help cool the temperature in our whole society.

When I was young and I struggled with depression to the point that I couldn't eat, I was often sustained by a simple kind word or smile. To this day, I try to smile at people when I see them. I try to speak kindly to them, especially young kids who appear to be carrying some sort of burden. Something as little as acknowledging somebody with a kind word can provide them the impulse they need to not only survive, but improve their situation.

Our focus needs to be on the people who need help. There are enough of them that if we remain diligent, we won't even hear the words of the people preaching hate. Those words will crash into our backs, and the vulnerable populations will be spared from hearing them.

This is a good goal. This is a good point of focus in these uncertain times.

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