Yes, early in my career, I was in a physics adjacent field — sort of changes your perspective on immigrants and refugees if you bother to notice. A HUGE portion of US wealth and privilege is due to the work of refugee immigrants like Einstein and Wigner. Even totally unskilled refugees (meaning “skilled in things that would kill us, but not skilled in ways we recognize as important”) are, I would say, likely to be much more valuable contributors to our common future — these are people who have endured harsh deprivation and made a change to better their lot. I have a coffee cup that says “Keep the Immigrants, Deport the Racists.”
Excellent exposé on the inner workings of bigotry. I am certain I have my own personal “confirmation bias” — and also that it leans toward compassion and empathy for my fellow humans. Most of the time. It is the ugliness and ignorance and crudely voiced venom of the MAGA cadre that makes understanding so hard for me to muster.
We all have confirmation bias. It's good that you recognize it. I recognize mine too. That along with working to do better is all that's asked of us. The problem comes when people start getting into the world of denial and anger. That's the essence of MAGA. They have no desire for self-improvement. Thanks for the comment!
MAGAgoraphobes seem to believe that nothing that’s wrong in their lives could possibly be their fault, let alone their responsibility to mitigate. Like small children, they derive comfort from blaming anybody (everybody) for their dissatisfaction with life. And like small children, their cognitive ability to see themselves as the common denominator in all their woes is either limited or entirely absent.
You're very right. We need to adopt an attitude of treating them like children. This "taking their position seriously" nonsense has got to end. They're getting us hurt and we deserve better. Thanks for the comment!
Yeah. Just once I'd like somebody to go on the mainstream media and declare that immigrants are more educated than Americans. We need some representation for the other side of the story. Thanks for the comment!
MSNBC might be the best mainstream media for that sort of coverage, Walter.
But even there I see the (to me) distasteful sorts of comments like making reference to "the GREAT state of [insert state name]" or the constant drumbeat of the USA being the "best, greatest, most" or whatever superlatives that seems to be the necessary ingredient in describing anything about the United States. I don't think that commentators, that I otherwise respect, even realize how this is heard. It breeds American exceptionalism that justifies very ugly behaviour. I wince and sigh each and every time I hear it.
This American nation is not a cult. The followers of Trump, follow blindly, worshipping him regardless of what he says. That is a cult, they believe in him not what he says.
Amen my brother. It's a short step from jingoism and Christian fascist nationalism. Yuck.
America is exceptional as in …. exceptionally bad at healthcare for all, educational opportunities for all our youth, treatment of people not like us (whether they're a different race, a different (non) religion, different abilities, or not gender “normative” ←an awkward term to begin with).
We've always had to fight hard to NOT be this way. Even when Harris/Walz win, the fight is not over to get us to where we can ALL be proud of our country.
I thought about that after I posted my comment, and almost didn't - but then decided that now is the time for American Exceptionalism to become a subject for discussion. Like me, Walter, you have seen the US from living in another country and it changes how you see things that are just taken for granted from the inside. Travel helps, but I think you have to actually live somewhere else to get a true picture of what people constantly crowing about how great they are looks like. I know that there were so many things that I was uncomfortable about as a child and adolescent being raised in Virginia, but especially at that age, there was little I could do about that unclear unease. I have always felt that moving to Canada (where I have lived for nearly 75% of my life now) saved me - not necessarily from becoming what I did not like but maybe from living a life of despondency and despair.
But, maybe this isn't the place for me to rant on about this. I don't want to go off on a tangent in commenting about your outstanding piece and your observations. Let me know if I should be writing up something rather than going on about it here. Thank you
They bloody well ARE…my English mother had a B.S. in Mathematics and my New Zealand-born daughter another one in Computer Science and earns six figures.
Oh, but they’re white.
I forgot.
How about Wernher von Braun? He was an immigrant? Plus, he was a Nazi war criminal who used Jewish slave labor AND a member of the SS!
Please don't lump all home schooler together. We choose homeschooling as an alternative to sexism and mediocrity in the public school. I taught in the system and saw it for what it was: bad for my children.
If your school system sucks, then go ahead and home-school.
But I think we both know that many of these Trumpetoons and MAGAts regard a good education as a firm grasp of the Bible, penmanship, home economics, and baton twirling.
I went to the best public high school in the nation, Stuyvesant High School, We had not one, not two, not three, but FOUR Nobel Laureates in the sciences among our alumni. I had the worst math grades in the history of the school for a student who was not on drugs. So the head of the Math Department said I had to be a mathematician or get transferred to Automotive High School or learn to clean sludge our of boilers.
If my mother hadn’t been a borderline narcissist, I probably would have done better being home-schooled, because of my inabilities with math and my Asperger’s.
As my brother reminds me, “There are 8 million stories in the naked city. Everybody’s different.”
Well said. The attacks on public school are definitely part of a multi-pronged right wing attack on education. They want the public ignorant because ignorance makes people easy to control. Thanks for your comment!
What irritates me is that they want to arm teachers with more firepower than 45 Royal Marine Commando, but won’t spend a penny on stuff they need, like chalk, history textbooks that get past the Vietnam War, art supplies, and decent pay.
We have three guns for every American. We worship guns. We live in a society where we regard it as acceptable to slaughter schoolchildren (Columbine, Parkland, Sandy Hook), as long as total nutballs can keep their houses filled with AR-15s.
Thanks for honoring that I am not lumping everyone together. There's a lot of troubling black and white thinking on this thread. The "good" guys have to think like the orthodox goes the line. That's a bit of fascism. My kids were homeschooled. We were Democrats who would have been socialists had we lived in another country.
No lumping. I was there as a teacher in the public school I am speaking about. Yes, good ones and many mediocre ones. Much bullying. Not all hard working: oftent he opposite. A culture of doing less. Homeschooling was our best solution. It's the homeschooling that was lumped together in the comments not the public school.
They are determined to define racism narrowly as "caught in the act of burning a cross on someone's lawn." Anything short of that? So unfair to assume it's "racism"!
Great observation, Pope. I agree as I know that people in my family believe that not being a card carrying member of the KKK means that they are NOT actually racist. *shakes head*
In order for these right-wing people to change, they must have an epiphany or undergo a brain/heart double transplant. That's it! There is no middle ground. Racism is so ingrained in the Membrane (thank you Cypress Hill) that it's there forever unless they have an awakening. I basically gave up on people I know because they refuse to face the issue and just make excuses. Just block them from your world.
Yeah, losing a job because of their racism might be the best thing for them. Losing friends and loved ones who never want to talk to them again should help too. Enabling them is not the right way to go... Thanks for the comment!
A short story of putting up with a MAGA acquaintance. It deals with my deluded MAGA neighbor, who’s 20 years older than I am. When we’re not discussing politics we get along fine. He loves to pontificate about his colorblindness and behaves accordingly, most of the time.
However, when discussing politics he’s an equal opportunity offender, Obama and Kamala are DEI n-word, immigrants are moochers, over 12,000 Chinese (uses a more colorful term) spies crossed illegally, Muslims are all terrorists and have infiltrated the deep state. His latest rant deals with Biden and Kamala’s covert operation that deals with flying illegals from their home countries to battleground states , providing them with voter registration, debit cards, and lodging in five-star hotels. His latest tally of illegals flown in is 5 million. That’s the only way democrats can beat Trump, according to his news sources. He’s an avid NewsMax and Steve Bannon fan. These irresponsible media folks are setting the stage to claim voter fraud in the event that Harris wins.
I laugh and tease him while he rants, which irks him and ups the ante. I requested that he stopped using the n word, he responded that he uses it because he’s my friend, but it doesn’t mean his racist.
I put up with him because I know what to expect from him, and keeps me up to date with the nefarious deep state’s plot to steal the upcoming election, and its intrusive surveillance of republicans, which I get a kick out of it. His wife is lovely, and a great cook. She does her best from letting him go off the rails.
It’s impossible to talk sense into these folks. I’ve had my fits with racist trolls on this platform, and love to see them go berserk when I claim I receive the aforementioned benefits my neighbor talks about and as an illegal, will be voting for Harris. The thread gets juicy. At times I just tell them to go fly a kite.
I wonder how many of those awful people you meet on internet threads are Bots. I think it's best to block them. The neighbor who uses the n word crosses a line from which there is no coming back. I'd get away from him. Those are the type of people who snap and murder everyone around them someday. Be careful!
One other thing about racism and immigration is that the hatred and nastiness needs to be called out loudly and placed upon the big ugly head of the person who has promoted it so vigorously. DT's mother was an immigrant, his first and current wives were/are both immigrants. Even though white - still immigrants. And perhaps he hates all women except Ivanka of course. He wouldn't be here today if it weren't for his immigrant mother. That s/b posted online everywhere and on billboards across the nation.
"The gap between reality and GOP perception of reality is chasmic".
This great article pretty accurately sums it up, Walter. You have palpably described any thinking person's agog frustration in trying to to converse with a racist person. Malice towards "others" is pointless, stupid, and exhausting. Temperament and stupidity seem (to me) to be an intrinsic casual factor.
Walter another fabulous thoughtful post. I 1000% agree with everything you said. I do find myself living in Arizona among a lot of Trumpy's many whom are my friends sadly :( and I try not to discuss politics with them especially one in particular they get so wild about how his vision is the best thing next to Apple Pie. In fact he is nothing more than spoiled eggs to be honest. I remember a few years ago thinking about your comment how some of these folks believe the lies of the folks they are supporting regarding a candidate being a Pedi file. I remember I had this neighbor whom I later found out was so detestable in many ways. One night while I was hanging out with her she pulls out a video of Joe Biden where I didn't see what she was claiming but she says he touched a little girl inappropriately. I didn't see and she kept putting it on pause trying to push the point. Don't see that. Getting wild over something that was not there. I still didn't see what she was saying. My point is I think these folks believe what Carrot Top says that is my name for him he needs to get a better toupee sorry being rude my apologies. Just saying whatever he spits out people that believe his junk gobble it up. The other day I was in the car with my good friend Cindy and she started a whole big speech about how she hopes Kamala Harris doesn't get elected and how she has never been to the border etc etc and we are getting all these bad folks crossing over etc.. We are in Arizona so it's a big thing here. For me I think the woman will make a suburb president and she is doing the best she can. We absolutely can not have four more years of Carrot Top. I say that as a gay man a working man a man who believes in what is right and just. The man is evil and I am just keeping it at that. I hope I didn't offend you or your readers. But I wanted to say I agree with everything you say. If he gets in I feel we will have an upward spike of hate on all levels. I laugh to myself when people said he did so much for the country. Hmm where. I only recall him Tweeting everything fifteen seconds. Maybe I am wrong. Well anyways friend thanks for the informative thought provoking piece. I am sorry that your wife and children endured such hatred. There is no room for that and should not ever be tolerated. Blessings to you and your family. Thanks for sharing a great piece. Blessings. :) :
At some point, we have to just point out that the entire Republican party lacks integrity. Actually, just start talking about integrity. Talk about how important it is to tell the truth. Talk about how important it is to show sportsman ship and admit you lose when you’ve lost. You can shame Republicans without mentioning politics, their worldview has infected their daily lives. These are toxic people. They have to give up the poisons or they’ll take you down with them. Best of luck to you and thanks for the thoughtful comment!
I wonder when people defend their racists views what they really are seeking is forgiveness and absolution. They hem and haw and pose imaginary scenarios in which their racism is somehow at least comprehensible, that it’s possible to understand in some imaginary universe. That leads me to think that they know— somewhere— that the behavior is wrong. But they FEEL it and so it seems real to them. It seems true.
I think many have lost the capacity (not ability) to step outside their own narrow perspective. There are likely reasons for this but that would be a different discussion.
Anyway, I appreciate your sharing of what was obviously a painful interaction. I struggle myself with how to get through to people so incredibly myopic.
Also, all of this intense, in-your-face racism keeps highly-skilled immigrants from doing their best work. I've seen it within NY own family; they're more likely to accept scrappy contracts, avoid asking for a raise while taking on more responsibility, and are terrified to look for anything better. It's exceptionally hard to advocate for yourself when you deal with hate and ignorance every day.
I am so sorry that your wife and children had to experience such ugliness. Our daughter, the blessing of an interracial marriage, now lives in Europe. She married a Caucasian and has two beautiful boys. Her seventeen year old is a handsome young man with dark brown hair and an olive complexion. He has experienced people approaching him and telling him to go back to where he came from. This bigotry must change. Yes, they need to be confronted, and they need to be educated. Thinking about it now it feels like an overwhelming project, but if we think only of the person standing before us, it can be accomplished one at a time. Sincere dialogue is needed to eliminate the poison in people's hearts.
Hey Walter, you raised a few questions at the beginning, not sure if rhetorical or not. But I thought Jon Haidt‘s ‚The Righteous Mind‘ might hold some answers. Do you know it?
I’m still grappling with the insights myself: how we often have a feeling-based intuition first and cognitive rationalisation second; how liberals and conservatives have different moral foundations which makes dialogue difficult; how rational discourse is hard, and even harder when we don’t like or even hate the other side… he wrote the book in the pre-MAGA age, so it misses some psychology of cult that’s relevant but otherwise quite foundational
Yes, early in my career, I was in a physics adjacent field — sort of changes your perspective on immigrants and refugees if you bother to notice. A HUGE portion of US wealth and privilege is due to the work of refugee immigrants like Einstein and Wigner. Even totally unskilled refugees (meaning “skilled in things that would kill us, but not skilled in ways we recognize as important”) are, I would say, likely to be much more valuable contributors to our common future — these are people who have endured harsh deprivation and made a change to better their lot. I have a coffee cup that says “Keep the Immigrants, Deport the Racists.”
I love that coffee cup!
I love that mug motto. I should get one and keep it with my "Nevertheless, she persisted" mug.
Excellent exposé on the inner workings of bigotry. I am certain I have my own personal “confirmation bias” — and also that it leans toward compassion and empathy for my fellow humans. Most of the time. It is the ugliness and ignorance and crudely voiced venom of the MAGA cadre that makes understanding so hard for me to muster.
We all have confirmation bias. It's good that you recognize it. I recognize mine too. That along with working to do better is all that's asked of us. The problem comes when people start getting into the world of denial and anger. That's the essence of MAGA. They have no desire for self-improvement. Thanks for the comment!
MAGAgoraphobes seem to believe that nothing that’s wrong in their lives could possibly be their fault, let alone their responsibility to mitigate. Like small children, they derive comfort from blaming anybody (everybody) for their dissatisfaction with life. And like small children, their cognitive ability to see themselves as the common denominator in all their woes is either limited or entirely absent.
You're very right. We need to adopt an attitude of treating them like children. This "taking their position seriously" nonsense has got to end. They're getting us hurt and we deserve better. Thanks for the comment!
True! And thank you.
Outstanding column.
It makes you realize that so many of these conservatives are proud home-school graduates.
Yeah. Just once I'd like somebody to go on the mainstream media and declare that immigrants are more educated than Americans. We need some representation for the other side of the story. Thanks for the comment!
MSNBC might be the best mainstream media for that sort of coverage, Walter.
But even there I see the (to me) distasteful sorts of comments like making reference to "the GREAT state of [insert state name]" or the constant drumbeat of the USA being the "best, greatest, most" or whatever superlatives that seems to be the necessary ingredient in describing anything about the United States. I don't think that commentators, that I otherwise respect, even realize how this is heard. It breeds American exceptionalism that justifies very ugly behaviour. I wince and sigh each and every time I hear it.
I’ve already had a couple people get very angry at me for denouncing the concept of American Exceptionalism. This whole nation is a cult.
This American nation is not a cult. The followers of Trump, follow blindly, worshipping him regardless of what he says. That is a cult, they believe in him not what he says.
I think you could make the theoretical argument that all patriotism is a form of cult
Amen my brother. It's a short step from jingoism and Christian fascist nationalism. Yuck.
America is exceptional as in …. exceptionally bad at healthcare for all, educational opportunities for all our youth, treatment of people not like us (whether they're a different race, a different (non) religion, different abilities, or not gender “normative” ←an awkward term to begin with).
We've always had to fight hard to NOT be this way. Even when Harris/Walz win, the fight is not over to get us to where we can ALL be proud of our country.
Not the whole nation. Some of us realize the US is sorely lacking in some areas that other nations perform beautifully in. Education comes to mind.
I thought about that after I posted my comment, and almost didn't - but then decided that now is the time for American Exceptionalism to become a subject for discussion. Like me, Walter, you have seen the US from living in another country and it changes how you see things that are just taken for granted from the inside. Travel helps, but I think you have to actually live somewhere else to get a true picture of what people constantly crowing about how great they are looks like. I know that there were so many things that I was uncomfortable about as a child and adolescent being raised in Virginia, but especially at that age, there was little I could do about that unclear unease. I have always felt that moving to Canada (where I have lived for nearly 75% of my life now) saved me - not necessarily from becoming what I did not like but maybe from living a life of despondency and despair.
But, maybe this isn't the place for me to rant on about this. I don't want to go off on a tangent in commenting about your outstanding piece and your observations. Let me know if I should be writing up something rather than going on about it here. Thank you
They bloody well ARE…my English mother had a B.S. in Mathematics and my New Zealand-born daughter another one in Computer Science and earns six figures.
Oh, but they’re white.
I forgot.
How about Wernher von Braun? He was an immigrant? Plus, he was a Nazi war criminal who used Jewish slave labor AND a member of the SS!
Please don't lump all home schooler together. We choose homeschooling as an alternative to sexism and mediocrity in the public school. I taught in the system and saw it for what it was: bad for my children.
If your school system sucks, then go ahead and home-school.
But I think we both know that many of these Trumpetoons and MAGAts regard a good education as a firm grasp of the Bible, penmanship, home economics, and baton twirling.
I went to the best public high school in the nation, Stuyvesant High School, We had not one, not two, not three, but FOUR Nobel Laureates in the sciences among our alumni. I had the worst math grades in the history of the school for a student who was not on drugs. So the head of the Math Department said I had to be a mathematician or get transferred to Automotive High School or learn to clean sludge our of boilers.
If my mother hadn’t been a borderline narcissist, I probably would have done better being home-schooled, because of my inabilities with math and my Asperger’s.
As my brother reminds me, “There are 8 million stories in the naked city. Everybody’s different.”
As I say, “‘Rashomon’ is a reality.”
Well said. The attacks on public school are definitely part of a multi-pronged right wing attack on education. They want the public ignorant because ignorance makes people easy to control. Thanks for your comment!
What irritates me is that they want to arm teachers with more firepower than 45 Royal Marine Commando, but won’t spend a penny on stuff they need, like chalk, history textbooks that get past the Vietnam War, art supplies, and decent pay.
Yes, and there's never any representation in the media about how so many of us think that's a STUPID idea. It's so frustrating!
That’s because the cat is out of the bag.
We have three guns for every American. We worship guns. We live in a society where we regard it as acceptable to slaughter schoolchildren (Columbine, Parkland, Sandy Hook), as long as total nutballs can keep their houses filled with AR-15s.
Thanks for honoring that I am not lumping everyone together. There's a lot of troubling black and white thinking on this thread. The "good" guys have to think like the orthodox goes the line. That's a bit of fascism. My kids were homeschooled. We were Democrats who would have been socialists had we lived in another country.
Please don't lump all public school teachers together. They are dedicated and hardworking and deserve our respect.
No lumping. I was there as a teacher in the public school I am speaking about. Yes, good ones and many mediocre ones. Much bullying. Not all hard working: oftent he opposite. A culture of doing less. Homeschooling was our best solution. It's the homeschooling that was lumped together in the comments not the public school.
Not all homeschooling parents are hardworking. It's often the opposite. You lumped public teachers together in your comment.
They are determined to define racism narrowly as "caught in the act of burning a cross on someone's lawn." Anything short of that? So unfair to assume it's "racism"!
Great observation, Pope. I agree as I know that people in my family believe that not being a card carrying member of the KKK means that they are NOT actually racist. *shakes head*
Unless she's First Nations, she's an immigrant too.
Absolutely!
In order for these right-wing people to change, they must have an epiphany or undergo a brain/heart double transplant. That's it! There is no middle ground. Racism is so ingrained in the Membrane (thank you Cypress Hill) that it's there forever unless they have an awakening. I basically gave up on people I know because they refuse to face the issue and just make excuses. Just block them from your world.
Yeah, losing a job because of their racism might be the best thing for them. Losing friends and loved ones who never want to talk to them again should help too. Enabling them is not the right way to go... Thanks for the comment!
A short story of putting up with a MAGA acquaintance. It deals with my deluded MAGA neighbor, who’s 20 years older than I am. When we’re not discussing politics we get along fine. He loves to pontificate about his colorblindness and behaves accordingly, most of the time.
However, when discussing politics he’s an equal opportunity offender, Obama and Kamala are DEI n-word, immigrants are moochers, over 12,000 Chinese (uses a more colorful term) spies crossed illegally, Muslims are all terrorists and have infiltrated the deep state. His latest rant deals with Biden and Kamala’s covert operation that deals with flying illegals from their home countries to battleground states , providing them with voter registration, debit cards, and lodging in five-star hotels. His latest tally of illegals flown in is 5 million. That’s the only way democrats can beat Trump, according to his news sources. He’s an avid NewsMax and Steve Bannon fan. These irresponsible media folks are setting the stage to claim voter fraud in the event that Harris wins.
I laugh and tease him while he rants, which irks him and ups the ante. I requested that he stopped using the n word, he responded that he uses it because he’s my friend, but it doesn’t mean his racist.
I put up with him because I know what to expect from him, and keeps me up to date with the nefarious deep state’s plot to steal the upcoming election, and its intrusive surveillance of republicans, which I get a kick out of it. His wife is lovely, and a great cook. She does her best from letting him go off the rails.
It’s impossible to talk sense into these folks. I’ve had my fits with racist trolls on this platform, and love to see them go berserk when I claim I receive the aforementioned benefits my neighbor talks about and as an illegal, will be voting for Harris. The thread gets juicy. At times I just tell them to go fly a kite.
I wonder how many of those awful people you meet on internet threads are Bots. I think it's best to block them. The neighbor who uses the n word crosses a line from which there is no coming back. I'd get away from him. Those are the type of people who snap and murder everyone around them someday. Be careful!
One other thing about racism and immigration is that the hatred and nastiness needs to be called out loudly and placed upon the big ugly head of the person who has promoted it so vigorously. DT's mother was an immigrant, his first and current wives were/are both immigrants. Even though white - still immigrants. And perhaps he hates all women except Ivanka of course. He wouldn't be here today if it weren't for his immigrant mother. That s/b posted online everywhere and on billboards across the nation.
"The gap between reality and GOP perception of reality is chasmic".
This great article pretty accurately sums it up, Walter. You have palpably described any thinking person's agog frustration in trying to to converse with a racist person. Malice towards "others" is pointless, stupid, and exhausting. Temperament and stupidity seem (to me) to be an intrinsic casual factor.
Sorry, causal kept being auto corrected.
Thanks for the nice comment!
Worthy and deserved, sir.
Walter another fabulous thoughtful post. I 1000% agree with everything you said. I do find myself living in Arizona among a lot of Trumpy's many whom are my friends sadly :( and I try not to discuss politics with them especially one in particular they get so wild about how his vision is the best thing next to Apple Pie. In fact he is nothing more than spoiled eggs to be honest. I remember a few years ago thinking about your comment how some of these folks believe the lies of the folks they are supporting regarding a candidate being a Pedi file. I remember I had this neighbor whom I later found out was so detestable in many ways. One night while I was hanging out with her she pulls out a video of Joe Biden where I didn't see what she was claiming but she says he touched a little girl inappropriately. I didn't see and she kept putting it on pause trying to push the point. Don't see that. Getting wild over something that was not there. I still didn't see what she was saying. My point is I think these folks believe what Carrot Top says that is my name for him he needs to get a better toupee sorry being rude my apologies. Just saying whatever he spits out people that believe his junk gobble it up. The other day I was in the car with my good friend Cindy and she started a whole big speech about how she hopes Kamala Harris doesn't get elected and how she has never been to the border etc etc and we are getting all these bad folks crossing over etc.. We are in Arizona so it's a big thing here. For me I think the woman will make a suburb president and she is doing the best she can. We absolutely can not have four more years of Carrot Top. I say that as a gay man a working man a man who believes in what is right and just. The man is evil and I am just keeping it at that. I hope I didn't offend you or your readers. But I wanted to say I agree with everything you say. If he gets in I feel we will have an upward spike of hate on all levels. I laugh to myself when people said he did so much for the country. Hmm where. I only recall him Tweeting everything fifteen seconds. Maybe I am wrong. Well anyways friend thanks for the informative thought provoking piece. I am sorry that your wife and children endured such hatred. There is no room for that and should not ever be tolerated. Blessings to you and your family. Thanks for sharing a great piece. Blessings. :) :
At some point, we have to just point out that the entire Republican party lacks integrity. Actually, just start talking about integrity. Talk about how important it is to tell the truth. Talk about how important it is to show sportsman ship and admit you lose when you’ve lost. You can shame Republicans without mentioning politics, their worldview has infected their daily lives. These are toxic people. They have to give up the poisons or they’ll take you down with them. Best of luck to you and thanks for the thoughtful comment!
I wonder when people defend their racists views what they really are seeking is forgiveness and absolution. They hem and haw and pose imaginary scenarios in which their racism is somehow at least comprehensible, that it’s possible to understand in some imaginary universe. That leads me to think that they know— somewhere— that the behavior is wrong. But they FEEL it and so it seems real to them. It seems true.
I think many have lost the capacity (not ability) to step outside their own narrow perspective. There are likely reasons for this but that would be a different discussion.
Anyway, I appreciate your sharing of what was obviously a painful interaction. I struggle myself with how to get through to people so incredibly myopic.
Yes, you're right. I have a few more articles planned on this mindset. Thanks for your thoughts!
I agree.
Also, all of this intense, in-your-face racism keeps highly-skilled immigrants from doing their best work. I've seen it within NY own family; they're more likely to accept scrappy contracts, avoid asking for a raise while taking on more responsibility, and are terrified to look for anything better. It's exceptionally hard to advocate for yourself when you deal with hate and ignorance every day.
Yeah, it's bullying/harassment/bigotry... all the worst things rolled up into one.
I am so sorry that your wife and children had to experience such ugliness. Our daughter, the blessing of an interracial marriage, now lives in Europe. She married a Caucasian and has two beautiful boys. Her seventeen year old is a handsome young man with dark brown hair and an olive complexion. He has experienced people approaching him and telling him to go back to where he came from. This bigotry must change. Yes, they need to be confronted, and they need to be educated. Thinking about it now it feels like an overwhelming project, but if we think only of the person standing before us, it can be accomplished one at a time. Sincere dialogue is needed to eliminate the poison in people's hearts.
Hey Walter, you raised a few questions at the beginning, not sure if rhetorical or not. But I thought Jon Haidt‘s ‚The Righteous Mind‘ might hold some answers. Do you know it?
I’m still grappling with the insights myself: how we often have a feeling-based intuition first and cognitive rationalisation second; how liberals and conservatives have different moral foundations which makes dialogue difficult; how rational discourse is hard, and even harder when we don’t like or even hate the other side… he wrote the book in the pre-MAGA age, so it misses some psychology of cult that’s relevant but otherwise quite foundational
https://open.substack.com/pub/pisarev/p/im-fat?r=47ypvv&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web&showWelcomeOnShare=true