16 Comments

Goes to show how different we all are. Me? Don't send them to the office. Better he bring them home, where hugs can be properly given. And I will smell them four minutes out of every ten. Preferably not an overpriced $50 bouquet from a florist. A $10 bundle of anything fragrant from Safeway will do. For me, it's not about other people knowing I got them. It's about him knowing how much I love them. Maybe that's the real trick of Valentines Day. Knowing how she ticks. :)

Expand full comment

:) I was wondering how this article was going to land. I wrote it about 3 years ago, and as I reread it I thought it was punchier than I remembered. I've found it is difficult to get men to buy their wives flowers, so this is an argument that helps break down the mental barriers. Also, this article makes my wife laugh, so it's got that going for it! You nailed it, it's all about knowing how your partner ticks, if only everyone spent a little more time trying to figure that out!

Expand full comment

It delights me that this one makes your wife laugh. And I totally agree, it would be nice if everyone spent a little more bandwidth understanding how their partner ticks.

Expand full comment

You know how she tikc and make her laugh. That's wonderful and crucial for a happy marriage. Loved this piece, Walter. Happy Valentine's Day!

Expand full comment

Thank you Kristina! Happy Valentine's Day to you as well!

Expand full comment

It's similar to how men feel when they have a better car than their work friends, it gives them a sense of superiority.

Expand full comment

My husband has by far the worst car of anybody in his office, but I bet he doesn't give a crap.

Expand full comment

I have an old car too, but I get Shalone's point. We all have something I expect :)

Expand full comment

Maybe it's older men that have this thing about their car.

Expand full comment

Walter,

Your brilliant essay is priceless!!!

I savored every insight

and laughed continuously.

Loved the analogy

of changing the oil in your car!

Amen. Change the oil, dude.

I am a woman who LOVES

Valentine's Day

but who doesn't want flowers.

What I ask for and receive each year

is a small hand written love letter.

That is the oil that keeps my engine purring

Expand full comment

I hope that the people in your life come to know all your preferences! Thank you for the lovely comment!

Expand full comment

Walter,

Thank you for your wish for me!

But you will be amused to hear

that I have no need

nor even any wish

for the people in my life

to know my preferences.

Haha nor my opinions.

Values, yes.

I share my values--

who I am, what I believe in--

and leave them free

to be who they are

and believe what they believe.

My life is peaceful.

And your writing is a delight.

Expand full comment

I'm pleased to hear that!

Expand full comment

Walter, that whole article was priceless! You should spend $200 on the next bouquet you send your wife. Hint: Mother's Day is coming. And even better, you should go to her workplace when she tells you the flowers have passed on, and collect the vase from her to take it home. It will likely be big and heavy, so it would be good if you carried it, while you escort her home. Because, you see, the people she doesn't like will be even more irked that she has a really good husband in her life who helps her carry heavy stuff - in addition to sending her flowers at the office!

Expand full comment

Thank you Carol! Haha, yeah, or I should wait for a day when they're just being jerks at work and show up. That way maybe they'd start to learn that I always turn up if she's mistreated. I do end up at her office frequently. It's delightful to indulge in a show of support for the people you care about. If more of the husbands in the world did that, maybe fewer people would be so miserable. Thanks for the comment!

Expand full comment

Uh. no. I never wanted flowers at work so I could show off. that's just plain mean.

Flowers are one way to show a person still cares about you, loves you, is thinking of you, and still feels somewhat romantic, rather than that you are just the children's mother or a roommate.

Flowers are like blowjobs. You want those ... don't you???

Expand full comment