I'm sorry I have never heard of you before Substack but, your writing makes me feel like we should've met as kids. Hell, we could be family! Lol I feel everything you say, I've lived. And this article is no different. My dad was born and raised in a coal mining town in West by God, Virginia. So, I also have those cousins. Thank goodness the family moved when he was young. My grandpa just had to get outta there. So please, keep writing. And maybe those of us with those cousins, can figure out how to tell them if they keep voting for Republicans, they'll never get out of that breezy house.
Yes. It's never been more clear than right now that half of our society is possessed. They're under the influence of a false and cruel ideology. How do we make them understand? I wish I knew.
This was the BEST description of the type of individuals we hear talking from the halls of congress. “January 6th violence?” “I couldn’t tell you, I didn’t see it.” What???? The senator was THERE! It’s a reality not steeped in reality, or rather, it’s a made-up reality to suit shifting boundaries. Your description of your cousins was so awful it made me laugh out loud, except for me they existed (for a time) as Texas and Florida neighbors.
Yeah, and I fear that the current administration is going to transform our whole society into those awful people. I'm very sad lately. I have to take on this topic. The brainwashing that's going on in our nation is tragic. Thank you JR.
This was so good! I spit my coffee on some of these lines. I shouldn’t laugh but you really captured it all. Thanks for a brief respite from the craziness, yet capturing ‘murica so well. I just love your style, capturing it to a T (pun intended).
Wow! This piece definitely resonates with me. As a matter of fact you’ve inspired me to write my version of growing up around toxic relatives. Though mine had different living situations and political beliefs, they certainly were unaccomplished bullies in their way who berated anyone who didn’t make the same life choices they did, especially me.
One of the saddest things was being raised by the same parents who gave us a safe, structured life of school, church, activities and always music (because my mom played piano and organ) but watching my siblings react to and process our upbringing in very different ways than I did, and as a result I feel diminished the quality of lives as we grew up.
Based on the life choices I made, I got criticized by my siblings all my life for “trying to live a white picket life.” Fortunately, it didn’t let it deter me from reaching my goals, but it did convince me in my early adult years that we weren’t going to be “friends” and able to socialize beyond minimal contact at funerals Even sadder was later having to distance my kids from their cousins who were taking paths even more harmful than their parents had taken.
Wow, Walter! This reminds me so much of my years living and working in Harlan County, Kentucky. One of my adult reading students appeared for her lesson one day angry and upset. She had just had to pay for someone to drive her into the county seat (no public transportation, of course) to get an injunction against one of the men living in her holler. He was practicing target shooting by trying to shoot into her house through the holes in her exterior walls!
Your title reminded me of the fictional realm I write about, Anthropomorph, which also has "mobile boundaries [it trots] out at [its] own convenience." Borders that appear and disappear at will are what all fantasy realms should have.
And plus, it has bullies (or rather, villains) who can't be reasoned with...
Good job Mr. Rhein. You are capturing an essential truth here. You describe the hard core of Trump's MAGA base and why they recognize in his rhetoric one of their own. The accomplished people of this country need to think about how to reach this cohort, whether they like it or not. Generations of an impoverished, isolated and primitive existence tears at the fabric of society.
I don't think Democratic political messengers are drawing the right conclusions about MAGA. They are doing as you said, trying to withdraw from their company. That's okay for private social interactions, but it isn't viable as a political tactic. We cannot put all these Americans on a slow boat to China. We have to get them to quit supporting Trump. They will never connect the dots unless we help them.
Politically exploiting the contradictions in their beliefs is the starting point. The next step is continuously pointing out the Republican Party is the one that is putting the boot to their neck. For example, when they bring up how their government benefits are cut - tell them and show them 'Republicans did that'. Eventually, the light bulb will go off, albeit dimly.
I do not condemn these people. But, like you, I see them realistically. I'm from Texas. I want them to do better and have better lives. These are my people. Lyndon Johnson was one of us. What a contrast with Trump. A famous historian chronicled our lives in his bio of Lyndon:
You painted a familiar picture vividly: the ugly underbelly of ‘Murica. However the coarseness and sociopathic cruelty (aka sadisim or sadistic ideation) which is glorified in our culture, at least on Fox News and in much of our entertainment media, occurs in all American families, not just impoverished ones, not just those who know from a PTO. Just look at the Trumps. (PBS Frontline special on the Bully-in-Chief’s comeback is revealing.) And there are many kind, decent, good, thinking people among those who know how to safely hook up a manure spreader to a PTO. They know a bully when they see one, and would never vote for one. Just sayin’.
I understand your frustration. I used to drive family away too. But I found that as much as I was empowering myself, I was taking collateral damage too. There was a form of self-erasure that occurred every time I cut one of them out of my life. I started to forget my self history and I definitely got lonelier. And it got oddly easier to cut more and more people out of my life, but all that isolation wasn't good for me, forgot how to socialize. I was eventually able to have responsible conversations with my kin, and they (unlike my emotionally unavailable mother and father) actually listened. Life got better. I hope you're not in a dark place, friend.
Not for me. I've been happier every time. Don't underestimate what other people have to deal with. Maybe the people you cut out weren't nearly as bad as what I've had to remove.
I'm sorry I have never heard of you before Substack but, your writing makes me feel like we should've met as kids. Hell, we could be family! Lol I feel everything you say, I've lived. And this article is no different. My dad was born and raised in a coal mining town in West by God, Virginia. So, I also have those cousins. Thank goodness the family moved when he was young. My grandpa just had to get outta there. So please, keep writing. And maybe those of us with those cousins, can figure out how to tell them if they keep voting for Republicans, they'll never get out of that breezy house.
Yes. It's never been more clear than right now that half of our society is possessed. They're under the influence of a false and cruel ideology. How do we make them understand? I wish I knew.
I’m from West by God, and I sure do recognize this! I know those people! My cousins there are all Democrats, though, thank heaven.
This was the BEST description of the type of individuals we hear talking from the halls of congress. “January 6th violence?” “I couldn’t tell you, I didn’t see it.” What???? The senator was THERE! It’s a reality not steeped in reality, or rather, it’s a made-up reality to suit shifting boundaries. Your description of your cousins was so awful it made me laugh out loud, except for me they existed (for a time) as Texas and Florida neighbors.
Yeah, and I fear that the current administration is going to transform our whole society into those awful people. I'm very sad lately. I have to take on this topic. The brainwashing that's going on in our nation is tragic. Thank you JR.
This was so good! I spit my coffee on some of these lines. I shouldn’t laugh but you really captured it all. Thanks for a brief respite from the craziness, yet capturing ‘murica so well. I just love your style, capturing it to a T (pun intended).
Thank you Suzanne!
Wow! This piece definitely resonates with me. As a matter of fact you’ve inspired me to write my version of growing up around toxic relatives. Though mine had different living situations and political beliefs, they certainly were unaccomplished bullies in their way who berated anyone who didn’t make the same life choices they did, especially me.
One of the saddest things was being raised by the same parents who gave us a safe, structured life of school, church, activities and always music (because my mom played piano and organ) but watching my siblings react to and process our upbringing in very different ways than I did, and as a result I feel diminished the quality of lives as we grew up.
Based on the life choices I made, I got criticized by my siblings all my life for “trying to live a white picket life.” Fortunately, it didn’t let it deter me from reaching my goals, but it did convince me in my early adult years that we weren’t going to be “friends” and able to socialize beyond minimal contact at funerals Even sadder was later having to distance my kids from their cousins who were taking paths even more harmful than their parents had taken.
So I made choices and set boundaries. (Time to
get busy writing my own version.)
Excellent! If you tag me I'll be sure to read it!
Thank you. Will do.
Wow, Walter! This reminds me so much of my years living and working in Harlan County, Kentucky. One of my adult reading students appeared for her lesson one day angry and upset. She had just had to pay for someone to drive her into the county seat (no public transportation, of course) to get an injunction against one of the men living in her holler. He was practicing target shooting by trying to shoot into her house through the holes in her exterior walls!
Your title reminded me of the fictional realm I write about, Anthropomorph, which also has "mobile boundaries [it trots] out at [its] own convenience." Borders that appear and disappear at will are what all fantasy realms should have.
And plus, it has bullies (or rather, villains) who can't be reasoned with...
Good job Mr. Rhein. You are capturing an essential truth here. You describe the hard core of Trump's MAGA base and why they recognize in his rhetoric one of their own. The accomplished people of this country need to think about how to reach this cohort, whether they like it or not. Generations of an impoverished, isolated and primitive existence tears at the fabric of society.
I don't think Democratic political messengers are drawing the right conclusions about MAGA. They are doing as you said, trying to withdraw from their company. That's okay for private social interactions, but it isn't viable as a political tactic. We cannot put all these Americans on a slow boat to China. We have to get them to quit supporting Trump. They will never connect the dots unless we help them.
Politically exploiting the contradictions in their beliefs is the starting point. The next step is continuously pointing out the Republican Party is the one that is putting the boot to their neck. For example, when they bring up how their government benefits are cut - tell them and show them 'Republicans did that'. Eventually, the light bulb will go off, albeit dimly.
I do not condemn these people. But, like you, I see them realistically. I'm from Texas. I want them to do better and have better lives. These are my people. Lyndon Johnson was one of us. What a contrast with Trump. A famous historian chronicled our lives in his bio of Lyndon:
https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/86524.The_Path_to_Power
Yes, accountability will be the key to this. We can't stand by and be silent while the left is blamed for all the crimes of the right.
Very insightful and fascinating.
You painted a familiar picture vividly: the ugly underbelly of ‘Murica. However the coarseness and sociopathic cruelty (aka sadisim or sadistic ideation) which is glorified in our culture, at least on Fox News and in much of our entertainment media, occurs in all American families, not just impoverished ones, not just those who know from a PTO. Just look at the Trumps. (PBS Frontline special on the Bully-in-Chief’s comeback is revealing.) And there are many kind, decent, good, thinking people among those who know how to safely hook up a manure spreader to a PTO. They know a bully when they see one, and would never vote for one. Just sayin’.
fascist rural areas are why he's in power. just sayin'.
I understand your frustration. I used to drive family away too. But I found that as much as I was empowering myself, I was taking collateral damage too. There was a form of self-erasure that occurred every time I cut one of them out of my life. I started to forget my self history and I definitely got lonelier. And it got oddly easier to cut more and more people out of my life, but all that isolation wasn't good for me, forgot how to socialize. I was eventually able to have responsible conversations with my kin, and they (unlike my emotionally unavailable mother and father) actually listened. Life got better. I hope you're not in a dark place, friend.
Not for me. I've been happier every time. Don't underestimate what other people have to deal with. Maybe the people you cut out weren't nearly as bad as what I've had to remove.