I don't recall this article on Medium. If I had seen it I would think I'd have highlighted this part: "Men provide the illusion of strength. Women are the pillars that make society function."
I probably would have added that women aren't the ones men should be pointing fingers at saying they're "so emotional." The evidence for the opposite is so true that I'll never understand how that myth managed to stick.
Also, if I had a baby, when you heard the loud crying throughout the nine month process, not just the final result, you'd have heard a whole lot of crying, and it wouldn't be an infant's cry.
Men are so nuts that many of them would strangle the poor kid in a rage after birth, yelling, "Do you have any idea what you did to me, you little shit?"
Gosh, there's so much to explore in that thoughtful comment Charles. I wish somebody would make a movie depicting human men as awful predators like bears, and the women as valiant warriors who keep the babies alive. I'm not sure this went on Medium yet, it might be sitting in draft. I always make drafts in both Substack and Medium, and then I schedule them so something appears every day on both platforms (though not the same thing). This allows people to revisit articles they liked when they appear elsewhere.
Congratulations, Walter, for being the opposite type of person and father of your own father.
I gotta agree fully with your assessment. This era of MAGA and the rise of bro culture and its adjacent pseudo-alpha, incel, resurgent openly misogynist attitude puts the whiny, fragile asshole on full display. We definitely need a new concept of strength in this country. Firearm violence, domestic abuse, road raging, insurrectioning, packing fully auto assault heat while grocery shopping, are not demonstrations of strength. Restraint, tolerance, kindness, and quiet dignity are much harder to embody. Yes, I agree that women do a much, much better job at those things than men.
This is one of my favourite pieces of yours that I’ve read.
P.S. it’s okay to be an asshole when it’s used to put someone in their place that deserves it.
Especially when they don’t expect it from you. You get to whip it out of your pocket so quick, that it takes them a second to believe YOU said it.
The second part of that is the look on their face as they realize that you’d been holding back, and are capable of tearing them down a few other notches if they keep up.
I was raised in an abusive household too, was made fun of until I cried, then told I was too sensitive. I’m still wrestling with the anger issues, and an inability to form close relationships.
But what I do know is that, they didn’t take away my kindness, and your father didn’t take yours.
Thank you ma'am! Yes, even now I know I can say something just devastating to just about anyone. I try not to indulge that impulse because I don't like being that person. But if somebody is being an asshole in public... yeah, I let them have it.
You’re welcome … and it ma’am😉. I happen to like being called ma’am, unlike many other women I know. In most cases they really are trying to be respectful.
Walter, I can’t believe how many of us broke away from family trauma and abuse. You get to be the black sheep now because you saw through your dad and refused to continue in his path. Of course the abusers are deeply offended when you draw your boundaries—they are clueless. It’s wonderful that you married someone who holds you accountable and have your precious children growing up with love.
Replace dad with grandfather and we had a lot of the same experiences. We spent a lot of time with my maternal grandparents and even lived with them for a few years, which is when I really discovered my grandpa's true colors.
love this piece with all the explanations and how you have worked to overcome abuse. A lot of us have had to do it and some of us at 73 are still working on never being good enough. Some days are better than others
Great read. Thanks for sharing your experiences. Competition is definitely a tool of oppression which needs to be unlearned as it pits people against each other. If each person tried to improve their own last personal best quietly reverently and without the chest banging the world would be a safer place.
Women are strong but I think you went to far to the left end of the scale. Men are strong too and most men are physically stronger than women when it comes to muscle mass which can equip them for 'stronger work'. Being an Alpha male is not being an asshole. It sounds like someone kicked your ass and you are very mad about it. Not that that is true! Just saying, Cheers!
I don't recall this article on Medium. If I had seen it I would think I'd have highlighted this part: "Men provide the illusion of strength. Women are the pillars that make society function."
I probably would have added that women aren't the ones men should be pointing fingers at saying they're "so emotional." The evidence for the opposite is so true that I'll never understand how that myth managed to stick.
Also, if I had a baby, when you heard the loud crying throughout the nine month process, not just the final result, you'd have heard a whole lot of crying, and it wouldn't be an infant's cry.
Men are so nuts that many of them would strangle the poor kid in a rage after birth, yelling, "Do you have any idea what you did to me, you little shit?"
The human race would have lasted about a week.
Gosh, there's so much to explore in that thoughtful comment Charles. I wish somebody would make a movie depicting human men as awful predators like bears, and the women as valiant warriors who keep the babies alive. I'm not sure this went on Medium yet, it might be sitting in draft. I always make drafts in both Substack and Medium, and then I schedule them so something appears every day on both platforms (though not the same thing). This allows people to revisit articles they liked when they appear elsewhere.
Sure, you do insecure men starting it!
"Men provide the illusion of strength. Women are the pillars that make society function."
"Black is grey/and yellow white/but we decide which is right/and which is an illusion" (The Moody Blues).
Wow, one of my favorites growing up.
Congratulations, Walter, for being the opposite type of person and father of your own father.
I gotta agree fully with your assessment. This era of MAGA and the rise of bro culture and its adjacent pseudo-alpha, incel, resurgent openly misogynist attitude puts the whiny, fragile asshole on full display. We definitely need a new concept of strength in this country. Firearm violence, domestic abuse, road raging, insurrectioning, packing fully auto assault heat while grocery shopping, are not demonstrations of strength. Restraint, tolerance, kindness, and quiet dignity are much harder to embody. Yes, I agree that women do a much, much better job at those things than men.
Well said!
This is one of my favourite pieces of yours that I’ve read.
P.S. it’s okay to be an asshole when it’s used to put someone in their place that deserves it.
Especially when they don’t expect it from you. You get to whip it out of your pocket so quick, that it takes them a second to believe YOU said it.
The second part of that is the look on their face as they realize that you’d been holding back, and are capable of tearing them down a few other notches if they keep up.
I was raised in an abusive household too, was made fun of until I cried, then told I was too sensitive. I’m still wrestling with the anger issues, and an inability to form close relationships.
But what I do know is that, they didn’t take away my kindness, and your father didn’t take yours.
Thank you ma'am! Yes, even now I know I can say something just devastating to just about anyone. I try not to indulge that impulse because I don't like being that person. But if somebody is being an asshole in public... yeah, I let them have it.
You’re welcome … and it ma’am😉. I happen to like being called ma’am, unlike many other women I know. In most cases they really are trying to be respectful.
My apologies ma'am! I was looking for a first name and almost wrote "The" haha!
Walter, I can’t believe how many of us broke away from family trauma and abuse. You get to be the black sheep now because you saw through your dad and refused to continue in his path. Of course the abusers are deeply offended when you draw your boundaries—they are clueless. It’s wonderful that you married someone who holds you accountable and have your precious children growing up with love.
Replace dad with grandfather and we had a lot of the same experiences. We spent a lot of time with my maternal grandparents and even lived with them for a few years, which is when I really discovered my grandpa's true colors.
That’s the thing, though - there have never been a more easily-offended group of snowflakes than MAGA. it’s only YOUR feelings they don’t care about.
love this piece with all the explanations and how you have worked to overcome abuse. A lot of us have had to do it and some of us at 73 are still working on never being good enough. Some days are better than others
Great read. Thanks for sharing your experiences. Competition is definitely a tool of oppression which needs to be unlearned as it pits people against each other. If each person tried to improve their own last personal best quietly reverently and without the chest banging the world would be a safer place.
Your kids are lucky to have a father willing to break the cycle of abuse.
Remove 30% of his teeth for the sake of accuracy!
Women are strong but I think you went to far to the left end of the scale. Men are strong too and most men are physically stronger than women when it comes to muscle mass which can equip them for 'stronger work'. Being an Alpha male is not being an asshole. It sounds like someone kicked your ass and you are very mad about it. Not that that is true! Just saying, Cheers!
There’s no such thing as an alpha male.