:) Yes, there are exceptions and a person who is polite can navigate that (and any other) barrier. I'm glad you found your person, thanks for sharing Sheila!
When I was a younger woman, occasionally I would get hit on at my job. It's hard enough when you're waitressing, but to get hit on while you're trying to practice medicine is super awkward.
Didn’t Senator Toxic Masculinity write a book about his opinion on this topic? I wouldn’t read anything he says. Thank you for bringing attention to this persistent flaw in our culture. In the 80s I was asked by a professor in college (who was 40 years older than me and LDS) if I was there for my MRS Degree. I used to wait tables and was called a serving wench once with snapping fingers. As a younger runner I got harassed all the time. Whenever I see men doing that to younger women now, I yell out loud, “Don’t hurt your neck!” I no longer have a $&*# to give.
It’s nice to be in my sixties with gray hair and a little extra weight so I get less unwanted attention. (Except I still get leered at by men older than me who haven’t evolved) But it’s really frustrating in the grocery store when I need help but the guy working there helps only the young cute 20-30 something in the same aisle, and ignores me like I don’t exist.
We have an intersectional sexist ageist problem too. On top of all the other ways the formerly dominant majority and soon to be extinct dinosaurs in our midst discriminate. I better wrap it up now becuase I could write all day about this. Thanks for being aware and sensitive to this. It’s much appreciated.
I think you should write all day about this, your words are very important. I don't know what Senator you're referring to, but I wouldn't be surprised if some jerk Republican had some bizarre concept of how picking on servers makes him a "man"... it's the most pathetic thing in the world. Sadly, that kind of thing isn't even the most toxic stuff they publish. Thanks again for your thoughts!
I had an acquaintance like "Chuck." He was in his fifties, and flirted with female servers barely out of high school. The age gap is secondary, as his creepy flirtation was bad enough.
I get excessively loud too. I know that. I guess telling "dad jokes" is one kind of discomfort, and flirting with a waitress is another. I think about that more though. :)
I have waited tables off and on my entire adult life. This is so true! Also, if you're a woman with a cringe guy, rather than blame the server, focus on him and his behavior! The server HAS to be nice and I promise is laughing about his bald head and food choices in the kitchen. We called guys like this Creeper. My poor beautiful friend is an unfortunate, "creeper keeper." They come back to repeatedly bother her. Ewww
I've had at least a dozen men private message me. Within two sentences after the polite hello, I will get so where do you live or can we take this to another forum to see where it goes.
I'm on here to write and interact, not hook up. It's infuriating and exhausting always having to keep your guard up.
My daughter has been a waitress and you are spot on with what they deal with.
I really liked this, but I actually think that there's a piece missing. I just can't formulate words to describe the idea that's percolating. To be shared at a future date, but I appreciate this write up, Walter.
"At some point, American society discarded the idea of being a gentleman in favor of militant toxic masculinity." This statement really hit me like an epiphany. Where have all the gentlemen gone? I suppose it didn't help that so many women stopped embracing the ideal of being "ladies", with all the limiting, patriarchal connotations of that term. That doesn't mean women prefer/deserve toxic masculinity!
Yup. Actually, what we should do is start flirting with them. I bet they'd be really uncomfortable to have another man treat them the way they treat these young women.
This should be sent to all MAGA IN BOLD CAPITAL LETTERS IN SCREAMING RED COLOR!!! This is perfect. Thanks you. All young men should also be given this
Thank you Teri!
That said, I did meet my future husband (and father to my daughter) that way. I waited on his table and talked physics.
:) Yes, there are exceptions and a person who is polite can navigate that (and any other) barrier. I'm glad you found your person, thanks for sharing Sheila!
So true! Thanks for saying this. I’m so glad that there are men in your generation willing to call out toxic masculinity. Your work is good!
Thank you Laurie!
When I was a younger woman, occasionally I would get hit on at my job. It's hard enough when you're waitressing, but to get hit on while you're trying to practice medicine is super awkward.
Didn’t Senator Toxic Masculinity write a book about his opinion on this topic? I wouldn’t read anything he says. Thank you for bringing attention to this persistent flaw in our culture. In the 80s I was asked by a professor in college (who was 40 years older than me and LDS) if I was there for my MRS Degree. I used to wait tables and was called a serving wench once with snapping fingers. As a younger runner I got harassed all the time. Whenever I see men doing that to younger women now, I yell out loud, “Don’t hurt your neck!” I no longer have a $&*# to give.
It’s nice to be in my sixties with gray hair and a little extra weight so I get less unwanted attention. (Except I still get leered at by men older than me who haven’t evolved) But it’s really frustrating in the grocery store when I need help but the guy working there helps only the young cute 20-30 something in the same aisle, and ignores me like I don’t exist.
We have an intersectional sexist ageist problem too. On top of all the other ways the formerly dominant majority and soon to be extinct dinosaurs in our midst discriminate. I better wrap it up now becuase I could write all day about this. Thanks for being aware and sensitive to this. It’s much appreciated.
I think you should write all day about this, your words are very important. I don't know what Senator you're referring to, but I wouldn't be surprised if some jerk Republican had some bizarre concept of how picking on servers makes him a "man"... it's the most pathetic thing in the world. Sadly, that kind of thing isn't even the most toxic stuff they publish. Thanks again for your thoughts!
It was Josh Hawley. Thanks Walter.
Ah, yeah, he's awful!
I had an acquaintance like "Chuck." He was in his fifties, and flirted with female servers barely out of high school. The age gap is secondary, as his creepy flirtation was bad enough.
Sometimes if you say, "You made that girl uncomfortable." It's the end of the friendship. It's no great loss though.
Thank you. My husband is a good person but sometimes he does get excessively loud. Ha ha. He should read this but of course he will deny it ha ha
I get excessively loud too. I know that. I guess telling "dad jokes" is one kind of discomfort, and flirting with a waitress is another. I think about that more though. :)
I have waited tables off and on my entire adult life. This is so true! Also, if you're a woman with a cringe guy, rather than blame the server, focus on him and his behavior! The server HAS to be nice and I promise is laughing about his bald head and food choices in the kitchen. We called guys like this Creeper. My poor beautiful friend is an unfortunate, "creeper keeper." They come back to repeatedly bother her. Ewww
Decades ago while I was in college I used to be a cocktail waitress.
And I approve this message!
Thank you Olga!
I've had at least a dozen men private message me. Within two sentences after the polite hello, I will get so where do you live or can we take this to another forum to see where it goes.
I'm on here to write and interact, not hook up. It's infuriating and exhausting always having to keep your guard up.
My daughter has been a waitress and you are spot on with what they deal with.
I’ve notice some men laugh and talk too loudly in a restaurant. They think they have that right.
I really liked this, but I actually think that there's a piece missing. I just can't formulate words to describe the idea that's percolating. To be shared at a future date, but I appreciate this write up, Walter.
I look forward to hearing that thought!
"At some point, American society discarded the idea of being a gentleman in favor of militant toxic masculinity." This statement really hit me like an epiphany. Where have all the gentlemen gone? I suppose it didn't help that so many women stopped embracing the ideal of being "ladies", with all the limiting, patriarchal connotations of that term. That doesn't mean women prefer/deserve toxic masculinity!
You speak so much sense, Walter. Thanks for cutting through the craziness with your clarity and decency.
The Manospear.
Those men are relics of another era who do not understand current morality.
Yup. Actually, what we should do is start flirting with them. I bet they'd be really uncomfortable to have another man treat them the way they treat these young women.