This resonated deeply with me. I haven't seen the movie yet, but as a black female, I totally understand the plot line. In the recent past I dealt with a lot of the issues Elphaba faced based on race. My workplace became so toxic that I would often go home and cry. Crying is my release valve. It helps me to alleviate stress and recenter. There's nothing wrong with it. The amount of stress was overwhelming.
I too was faced with people who were trying to push a false narrative about me, that I was lazy, incompetent, and difficult. This came from my direct supervisor who tried to convince upper management to fire me. He did so because I was a black female who had the nerve to speak up about shoddy work being done by my white male coworkers. So I am well aware of how insecure people can make your life miserable. But I stood up against them and they didn't succeed.
And you're wife is absolutely right- If you are the target, don't let the bullies see you cry.
I love that you have so much compassion and can put yourself in other people's shoes. That is very rare these days. It is definitely a strength and not a weakness.
Thank you Sarah! It's so soul crushing to be the target of a hate campaign and to recognize that the people who are attacking you are the liars and abusers. They're the sources of all the problems they blame you for. Watching this right after the election was just too much, but it was also the release I needed. Those voices resonated in my heart. Thanks for your kind words!
I avoided seeing the movie for the very reason you mentioned, the results of the presidential election. I just couldn't go watch the movie. Sometimes these things hit too close to home. I'm not sure I'll be able to anytime soon.
Yes, it seems like the liars and abusers have won the day. It's a shame that our country has decided to go down such a dark and depraved road.
I think you have shown that proximity matters. You have a loved one who is subject to the abuse and racism. Many times, unfortunately, it is under these situations that we see just how unfair the world is, it's through someone else's perspective.
This is why people who aren't aware of the ugliness of discrimination have no idea just how bad it really is. They gloss over it and say it's overblown. There's no way to explain it to someone who's only lived with the privilege of not being discriminated against on a regular basis.
Don't feel bad about it, that is human nature. We are all pretty oblivious about what others go through until it is brought to our attention. That's why diversity is key. We need to experience other people's lives in order to right the wrongs. There's really no other way of affecting change.
It’s ok to cry .. I cry more than anyone in my family. Some say I am too emotional .. I say, no, I just really care .. a man just sucking it up and being a man, and not crying is ridiculous. I say good job Walter… I am proud of you!
Thank you Walter!! Yes to all you so beautifully described. I cried throughout the film and was so moved. I hope the film is recognized at the Oscars. It deserves it so much. It is such a great film on so many levels. It made me think of the times I have been dealt derision,cruelty and prejudice just by being different. I am a white woman and an artist, extremely intuitive and empathetic. It is a Rally Cry for kindness and inclusion!!! So desperately needed in these times. Your writing brings light!!
Thank you for your insightful piece. I felt so much of what you described.
Please wear your tears as a badge of honor. This was a beautiful piece that refilled ares of my heart that lost hope. Wicked was an excellent movie ,an allegory of the times. Thank you for your openness , this is how we save ourself from hate.
One of the BEST pieces I’ve ever read. Brilliantly written and beautifully executed. I’m glad Cynthia was green; she took that on and smashed limitations and put her own indelible mark on the role. I read the book when it first came out, loved it. Never saw the show. When I heard she was playing Elphaba I was ecstatic. I LOVE her voice; I do believe she’s a once in a generation talent. To take on icons like Celie in The Color Purple, Aretha Franklin in Genius: Aretha Franklin- Respect and then one of the most difficult vocal parts in a musical- she’s fearless. (If you haven’t seen her sing Alfie in the Kennedy Center Honors , well, I get chills just thinking about it) I loved what the film means to so many people. I love that I saw young girls of all races flocking to the movie and humming Defying Gravity as they exited. And yes I love it that I couldn’t stop crying . It moved me so. Great Old school style movie making!! A film for the ages.
You're so kind, thanks for that lovely comment Valerie! She does have a tremendous voice. It hits you right in the soul and pulls the emotion out of you. It's literally like magic. Thanks for the other suggestions, I'll check out Alfie!
Thank you for this very moving story! I, too, was moved to tears a number of times during Wicked. Elphaba was so kind and worthy of love, it was heartbreaking to see the way she was treated by the ignorant and unfeeling. I know well that I have never felt the pain that people of color have to endure as a constant in this country. But a line in the movie that made me struggle with several gasping sobs was when the wizard said something to the effect of, “We know how to bring people together…give them an enemy!” This seems to me what we are surrounded by more and more each day - self-serving and intolerant people trying to give us an enemy, and another, and another. With all the heart and strength I can muster, I refuse to be unmoved and horrified by that!
Yes, better out than in. When you push those strong emotions down, it's not good for you. But I have to be mindful because I know it makes my kids kind of nervous when they see me cry (though they have and to some extent that can be healthy too).
Right, I don't cry about stuff just because it's difficult or for trivial reasons (most of the time) but I do let my kids see me cry on occasion so that they know you can be both strong and empathetic.
Touching, wonderful writing! Your tears - so well illustrating the depth of your very emotional writing here. They, along with your powerful writing, help us see our need to be concerned for all people, to move beyond the boundaries of much of our societies and the limits that have suggested that unexamined racism is how we should think and feel. Thank you for your openness. Your writing is wonderful at pushing us to be aware of and examine the limits of our own experiences and thinking.
Thank you, so much. This is beautiful commentary, and your thoughts always give me inspiration to speak up and call out the haters and lie-believers that I encounter.
I’m going to write about the movie soon. Me, and the people I keep around me, are very intertwined with music and all it does to the body and the soul.
I watched the movie in my room on a free app. The way my best friend was talking about it I needed to be alone and truly focused. Already with the first song I was feeling it. Ariana grande displayed “Guhlinda’s” inner turmoil perfectly as she sang the high notes of “Good News” as adlibs to the villagers “no one mourns the wicked”.
That was her friend, but she didn’t have a spine to stand with her. After finishing the movie I went back to that opening song and cried. Her notes were strong, but they were held back, displaying that she didn’t think it was good news. And there was someone mourning “the wicked” and it was her.
Reading your piece made me cry again because it’s been some weeks since I’ve seen it and anytime I think of the movie I think of that first song and I see all that is happening today. Killing and shunning others to save ourselves. No more.
Crying makes me feel even deeply than I did, and it makes me want to stand against everything that has brought me to tears. I mostly cry at anything dealing with humanity and how we’ve become so far removed from the “human” part.
I think it hurts me even more because I’ve connected with so many different people on different levels, and I see their “human” even if we have nothing in common…why doesn’t everyone else?
One of the most astonishing (in a good way) things I have seen was watching Robert de Niro cry during an interview. I mean, if he can, can't we all? I remember thinking he was setting a good example. It's also interesting that other people I know and myself have cried at completely unexpected moments that we would not have predicted but sometimes something just triggers that trickle coming out of left field. I have more often wept during moments of joy than sorrow, but I have done both.
The film version of "Cats" is fairly bad, but the singing rendition of "Memories" is absolutely superb.
Therefore I can honestly claim while "Cats" is not the(!) worst movie I have ever seen, it definitely is(!) the worst movie that I cried during a portion of it. And I'm happy to admit it.
Hi Walter,
This resonated deeply with me. I haven't seen the movie yet, but as a black female, I totally understand the plot line. In the recent past I dealt with a lot of the issues Elphaba faced based on race. My workplace became so toxic that I would often go home and cry. Crying is my release valve. It helps me to alleviate stress and recenter. There's nothing wrong with it. The amount of stress was overwhelming.
I too was faced with people who were trying to push a false narrative about me, that I was lazy, incompetent, and difficult. This came from my direct supervisor who tried to convince upper management to fire me. He did so because I was a black female who had the nerve to speak up about shoddy work being done by my white male coworkers. So I am well aware of how insecure people can make your life miserable. But I stood up against them and they didn't succeed.
And you're wife is absolutely right- If you are the target, don't let the bullies see you cry.
I love that you have so much compassion and can put yourself in other people's shoes. That is very rare these days. It is definitely a strength and not a weakness.
Thank you Sarah! It's so soul crushing to be the target of a hate campaign and to recognize that the people who are attacking you are the liars and abusers. They're the sources of all the problems they blame you for. Watching this right after the election was just too much, but it was also the release I needed. Those voices resonated in my heart. Thanks for your kind words!
Walter,
I avoided seeing the movie for the very reason you mentioned, the results of the presidential election. I just couldn't go watch the movie. Sometimes these things hit too close to home. I'm not sure I'll be able to anytime soon.
Yes, it seems like the liars and abusers have won the day. It's a shame that our country has decided to go down such a dark and depraved road.
I think you have shown that proximity matters. You have a loved one who is subject to the abuse and racism. Many times, unfortunately, it is under these situations that we see just how unfair the world is, it's through someone else's perspective.
This is why people who aren't aware of the ugliness of discrimination have no idea just how bad it really is. They gloss over it and say it's overblown. There's no way to explain it to someone who's only lived with the privilege of not being discriminated against on a regular basis.
I think that's very true. As you say, it's likely something I wouldn't have noticed if not for proximity. That bothers me.
Don't feel bad about it, that is human nature. We are all pretty oblivious about what others go through until it is brought to our attention. That's why diversity is key. We need to experience other people's lives in order to right the wrongs. There's really no other way of affecting change.
I think it's very important to recognize and state the issue. Yes, diversity is key.
It’s ok to cry .. I cry more than anyone in my family. Some say I am too emotional .. I say, no, I just really care .. a man just sucking it up and being a man, and not crying is ridiculous. I say good job Walter… I am proud of you!
Yes, it's important to get it out. Thanks Gene!
Thank you Walter!! Yes to all you so beautifully described. I cried throughout the film and was so moved. I hope the film is recognized at the Oscars. It deserves it so much. It is such a great film on so many levels. It made me think of the times I have been dealt derision,cruelty and prejudice just by being different. I am a white woman and an artist, extremely intuitive and empathetic. It is a Rally Cry for kindness and inclusion!!! So desperately needed in these times. Your writing brings light!!
Thank you for your insightful piece. I felt so much of what you described.
Nina
Thank you so much for that lovely comment!
Please wear your tears as a badge of honor. This was a beautiful piece that refilled ares of my heart that lost hope. Wicked was an excellent movie ,an allegory of the times. Thank you for your openness , this is how we save ourself from hate.
Thank you Cathy!
One of the BEST pieces I’ve ever read. Brilliantly written and beautifully executed. I’m glad Cynthia was green; she took that on and smashed limitations and put her own indelible mark on the role. I read the book when it first came out, loved it. Never saw the show. When I heard she was playing Elphaba I was ecstatic. I LOVE her voice; I do believe she’s a once in a generation talent. To take on icons like Celie in The Color Purple, Aretha Franklin in Genius: Aretha Franklin- Respect and then one of the most difficult vocal parts in a musical- she’s fearless. (If you haven’t seen her sing Alfie in the Kennedy Center Honors , well, I get chills just thinking about it) I loved what the film means to so many people. I love that I saw young girls of all races flocking to the movie and humming Defying Gravity as they exited. And yes I love it that I couldn’t stop crying . It moved me so. Great Old school style movie making!! A film for the ages.
You're so kind, thanks for that lovely comment Valerie! She does have a tremendous voice. It hits you right in the soul and pulls the emotion out of you. It's literally like magic. Thanks for the other suggestions, I'll check out Alfie!
Thank you for this very moving story! I, too, was moved to tears a number of times during Wicked. Elphaba was so kind and worthy of love, it was heartbreaking to see the way she was treated by the ignorant and unfeeling. I know well that I have never felt the pain that people of color have to endure as a constant in this country. But a line in the movie that made me struggle with several gasping sobs was when the wizard said something to the effect of, “We know how to bring people together…give them an enemy!” This seems to me what we are surrounded by more and more each day - self-serving and intolerant people trying to give us an enemy, and another, and another. With all the heart and strength I can muster, I refuse to be unmoved and horrified by that!
Yes, it lined up with our current reality almost too perfectly. It's shameful that we've been duped by such a tired, old strategy.
We finally watched it at home this weekend. Absolutely loved it.
I had the same feelings during the same parts that you mentioned.
And all I could think was; "Man, I needed a good cry, thank god." Long overdue...
I couldn't agree with you more about being able to feel & express emotion, especially over the plight of other humans.
Yes, better out than in. When you push those strong emotions down, it's not good for you. But I have to be mindful because I know it makes my kids kind of nervous when they see me cry (though they have and to some extent that can be healthy too).
Right, I don't cry about stuff just because it's difficult or for trivial reasons (most of the time) but I do let my kids see me cry on occasion so that they know you can be both strong and empathetic.
Touching, wonderful writing! Your tears - so well illustrating the depth of your very emotional writing here. They, along with your powerful writing, help us see our need to be concerned for all people, to move beyond the boundaries of much of our societies and the limits that have suggested that unexamined racism is how we should think and feel. Thank you for your openness. Your writing is wonderful at pushing us to be aware of and examine the limits of our own experiences and thinking.
You're very kind! I'm so glad that's the response you get to my work. That makes me feel very happy!
Thank you, so much. This is beautiful commentary, and your thoughts always give me inspiration to speak up and call out the haters and lie-believers that I encounter.
Meg
Thank you Meg!
TY Walter. Great piece.
Thanks Jim!
I’m going to write about the movie soon. Me, and the people I keep around me, are very intertwined with music and all it does to the body and the soul.
I watched the movie in my room on a free app. The way my best friend was talking about it I needed to be alone and truly focused. Already with the first song I was feeling it. Ariana grande displayed “Guhlinda’s” inner turmoil perfectly as she sang the high notes of “Good News” as adlibs to the villagers “no one mourns the wicked”.
That was her friend, but she didn’t have a spine to stand with her. After finishing the movie I went back to that opening song and cried. Her notes were strong, but they were held back, displaying that she didn’t think it was good news. And there was someone mourning “the wicked” and it was her.
Reading your piece made me cry again because it’s been some weeks since I’ve seen it and anytime I think of the movie I think of that first song and I see all that is happening today. Killing and shunning others to save ourselves. No more.
Crying makes me feel even deeply than I did, and it makes me want to stand against everything that has brought me to tears. I mostly cry at anything dealing with humanity and how we’ve become so far removed from the “human” part.
I think it hurts me even more because I’ve connected with so many different people on different levels, and I see their “human” even if we have nothing in common…why doesn’t everyone else?
I thought I was the only one! My heart broke. It is indeed a reflection of our human condition.
I'm heartened to hear I'm not the only one :)
California sends 5 times the $ it receives from the federal government. And has for decades sent more in than it gets.
One of the most astonishing (in a good way) things I have seen was watching Robert de Niro cry during an interview. I mean, if he can, can't we all? I remember thinking he was setting a good example. It's also interesting that other people I know and myself have cried at completely unexpected moments that we would not have predicted but sometimes something just triggers that trickle coming out of left field. I have more often wept during moments of joy than sorrow, but I have done both.
The film version of "Cats" is fairly bad, but the singing rendition of "Memories" is absolutely superb.
Therefore I can honestly claim while "Cats" is not the(!) worst movie I have ever seen, it definitely is(!) the worst movie that I cried during a portion of it. And I'm happy to admit it.