Loved this one, Walter. Might be my favorite yet. The digital space can be really hard to navigate... add in that normal passion, and like you mentioned lately, the changing nature of language, and it can be hard to ascertain if it was you, them, or honestly... some yet uncharted thought territory!
I also love this language... if someone unsubs, or blocks or anything that causes that 'sadness twinge' - I speak these words to myself - 'I trust that they are doing what's best for them.' This language casts myself rightfully as the trusting, caring person I am, while also alleviating the pressure that it's something I did or said.
Thank you Abby! We step into trauma all the time. Sometimes you might mention a movie, and it might be the movie somebody watched on the day they broke up with their boyfriend or something. You have no way of knowing that. The situation that's really difficult is when you block somebody and they get angry about it and they come after you. We all have the right to call "time out" and get our feet back under us. Thanks again for your kind words!
Rejection of any type is hard to swallow. I’ve been plagued
by feelings of inadequacy based on other people’s reactions most of my life. Some were just inaccurate perceptions on my part. It’s taken me awhile to realize there are people that come into your life that you have an instant connection with, others that you grow to love and those that you just don’t jive with. It doesn’t make either of you an unworthy human, it’s just how it is. If it’s something or someone that’s important to you ask questions. If it doesn’t work out, make peace with it. In the end knowing is a lot easier to handle than the assumptions that dwell in your head.
Yes, that's an important thing to understand. Some relationships are only designed to last a short amount of time. That's the plan the universe has in store for us :)
The block button is certainly easy. It happens. I'm glad you got that sorted with Ben. I think he accidentally blocked me too 😆, cuz I often can't access your lives with him and have to use my second account.
Ah! Did you mention it to him? Then we get this awkward "Uh-oh," feeling when it's just a dumb mistake. We writers are too sensitive sometimes :)
My big fat fingers are always pushing the wrong buttons on my cell phone! I always love having you in the lives, although your comments make me laugh and disrupt my chain of thought!
I needed this today. I blocked one and muted another. One's comment to me on a comment instantly felt like Maga and when I went to that person's profile, it was what I had thought.
I've lost a few subs here and there and booted a few who thought a female writer was their next hook up.
Thank you for this piece. I've jumped on and off a couple of your live shows. I'm not up on movies or many actors/actresses. So once I realize the topic I jump. 🙂
:) Yes, we do our Thursday live just to not talk about politics one day of the week. This Thursday I’ll be talking with Zuri Stevens at 12 and then the movie talk at 1.
Keep on blocking when you need to! Your mental health is the most important!
I don’t know if blocking someone because of their mean tweets or even if they threatened you. Which I have been threatened by people that don’t like me or don’t understand the content of my posts. I am trying to understand why people are so mean and hateful. But I don’t like being threatened by anyone. Freedom of speech is a right, not a privilege. That’s all I will say about that.
I block people all the time, or mute them. I've seen all the hostile comments I need to see for a lifetime. I can tell by the first three words if I need to block somebody in many cases. There have been times when I've unblocked people, given them a second chance, only to block them again.
Thank you Walter, I always feel bad when I block someone. I never want to hurt anyone, however I don’t want to be hurt either. Some people are just cruel and mean. Sometimes I think they are bots.
An interesting and very humane take on blocking. I don’t write enough to be attacked, I suppose. I recently began “corresponding” with someone who seemed very interested in anything I seemed to write. “She” asked me to message on What’s app, which I did. This messenger claimed to be in Gainesville, Florida, but I got a flag from What’s app saying the response was from a business in the UK. So, being lied to, I blocked that number. All very strange to me, but anyone who lies must have a hidden agenda. My only block, so far.
Oh gosh, I’m blocked by someone we both know. But only on Medium, not Substack. I don’t know if it’s on purpose or by accident. I thought about asking him but just let it go.
I think letting it go is the right thing. I only reached out to Ben because we had a meeting scheduled that week :). But you might want to leave a positive comment on a substack article and see what happens. I prefer not to know about it when people block me.
I had this happen to me recently with one writer I follow- it, oddly, happened around the same time that he subscribed to my newsletter. I assumed he didn't want anything more to do with me, but your indication that it might be a mistake suggests I should try to contact him.
Thanks. I appreciate honest dialogue and disagreement with my perspective in the pursuit of greater understanding. I am taking aback when someone gauges in ad hominem attacks. My first reaction is to defend my confidence and credentials. But then, I stop and realize defense is futile. they are not open to learning and growing, but simply to attack someone who has a different perspective. So, I block them. I am not gonna waste time and energy, trying to explain myself to someone who is disinterested and has a personal agenda.
Loved this one, Walter. Might be my favorite yet. The digital space can be really hard to navigate... add in that normal passion, and like you mentioned lately, the changing nature of language, and it can be hard to ascertain if it was you, them, or honestly... some yet uncharted thought territory!
I also love this language... if someone unsubs, or blocks or anything that causes that 'sadness twinge' - I speak these words to myself - 'I trust that they are doing what's best for them.' This language casts myself rightfully as the trusting, caring person I am, while also alleviating the pressure that it's something I did or said.
Thank you Abby! We step into trauma all the time. Sometimes you might mention a movie, and it might be the movie somebody watched on the day they broke up with their boyfriend or something. You have no way of knowing that. The situation that's really difficult is when you block somebody and they get angry about it and they come after you. We all have the right to call "time out" and get our feet back under us. Thanks again for your kind words!
Rejection of any type is hard to swallow. I’ve been plagued
by feelings of inadequacy based on other people’s reactions most of my life. Some were just inaccurate perceptions on my part. It’s taken me awhile to realize there are people that come into your life that you have an instant connection with, others that you grow to love and those that you just don’t jive with. It doesn’t make either of you an unworthy human, it’s just how it is. If it’s something or someone that’s important to you ask questions. If it doesn’t work out, make peace with it. In the end knowing is a lot easier to handle than the assumptions that dwell in your head.
Yes, that's an important thing to understand. Some relationships are only designed to last a short amount of time. That's the plan the universe has in store for us :)
The block button is certainly easy. It happens. I'm glad you got that sorted with Ben. I think he accidentally blocked me too 😆, cuz I often can't access your lives with him and have to use my second account.
Ah! Did you mention it to him? Then we get this awkward "Uh-oh," feeling when it's just a dumb mistake. We writers are too sensitive sometimes :)
My big fat fingers are always pushing the wrong buttons on my cell phone! I always love having you in the lives, although your comments make me laugh and disrupt my chain of thought!
My husband reminds me to not suffer fools, and of course there is my favorite from my son, fuck um.
I needed this today. I blocked one and muted another. One's comment to me on a comment instantly felt like Maga and when I went to that person's profile, it was what I had thought.
I've lost a few subs here and there and booted a few who thought a female writer was their next hook up.
Thank you for this piece. I've jumped on and off a couple of your live shows. I'm not up on movies or many actors/actresses. So once I realize the topic I jump. 🙂
:) Yes, we do our Thursday live just to not talk about politics one day of the week. This Thursday I’ll be talking with Zuri Stevens at 12 and then the movie talk at 1.
Keep on blocking when you need to! Your mental health is the most important!
This was good reflection. Reminder that others could be going through difficulties too. Valuable caution but urging kindness. Nice.
Valuable. Good to rememb
hink about what difficulties others may be going through.
I don’t know if blocking someone because of their mean tweets or even if they threatened you. Which I have been threatened by people that don’t like me or don’t understand the content of my posts. I am trying to understand why people are so mean and hateful. But I don’t like being threatened by anyone. Freedom of speech is a right, not a privilege. That’s all I will say about that.
I block people all the time, or mute them. I've seen all the hostile comments I need to see for a lifetime. I can tell by the first three words if I need to block somebody in many cases. There have been times when I've unblocked people, given them a second chance, only to block them again.
Thank you Walter, I always feel bad when I block someone. I never want to hurt anyone, however I don’t want to be hurt either. Some people are just cruel and mean. Sometimes I think they are bots.
An interesting and very humane take on blocking. I don’t write enough to be attacked, I suppose. I recently began “corresponding” with someone who seemed very interested in anything I seemed to write. “She” asked me to message on What’s app, which I did. This messenger claimed to be in Gainesville, Florida, but I got a flag from What’s app saying the response was from a business in the UK. So, being lied to, I blocked that number. All very strange to me, but anyone who lies must have a hidden agenda. My only block, so far.
The What's app thing tends to be a scam. You did the right thing to block that account. Unfortunately, that's the nature of the internet!
Oh gosh, I’m blocked by someone we both know. But only on Medium, not Substack. I don’t know if it’s on purpose or by accident. I thought about asking him but just let it go.
I think letting it go is the right thing. I only reached out to Ben because we had a meeting scheduled that week :). But you might want to leave a positive comment on a substack article and see what happens. I prefer not to know about it when people block me.
I had this happen to me recently with one writer I follow- it, oddly, happened around the same time that he subscribed to my newsletter. I assumed he didn't want anything more to do with me, but your indication that it might be a mistake suggests I should try to contact him.
It might be best to just let it lie. Sometimes people need space.
Okay. At least I know quite a bit more about the history of New York City because of him than I did before.
Thanks. I appreciate honest dialogue and disagreement with my perspective in the pursuit of greater understanding. I am taking aback when someone gauges in ad hominem attacks. My first reaction is to defend my confidence and credentials. But then, I stop and realize defense is futile. they are not open to learning and growing, but simply to attack someone who has a different perspective. So, I block them. I am not gonna waste time and energy, trying to explain myself to someone who is disinterested and has a personal agenda.